u/idk-prr

▲ 3 r/ESTJ

Well, I have a very close relationship with someone (my mother) who is probably an ESTJ. The thing is, I'm almost certain that Si is my PoLR (I already know why I'm an ENTJ/ENFJ).

The truth is, my hypothesis for why we clash is that we don't just have problems with Ni/Si, but also with Fi. I think this person has a Si-Fi combination that is hard for me to understand because I don't value it; it genuinely feels like a "whim" to me, although I know it’s not that way for her. I’d like some advice on how to detect when Si (the sensory environment) is more important than my Ni (the long-term purpose) for her. Sometimes I find her priorities excessively irritating, and I want to learn to be more mindful of them before they escalate, as this is a long-standing problem. Here is an example of a situation that made me think, "I can't take it anymore."

We work together and usually don't have issues, except when we both try to impose our will. For context, someone who collects plastic bottles often passes by our workplace. Since I care about environmentalism, I started saving my clean bottles to give them directly to this person. To me, it was the perfect plan, so I stored them near the cleaning supplies. She saw them and was immediately annoyed because, to her, they were "trash" and could attract insects. I told her it was fine because they were clean and just plastic, but she took my explanation as if I were calling her an exaggerator. She got upset and insisted she "didn't want to see them" simply because she said so. To me, this felt like a total whim—the bottles weren't in her way. When I asked if she could just wait until the collector came, she told me to just throw them in the trash outside and let the person find them there.

For me this was illogical: why separate them only to mix them back with trash?.Eventually, I moved the bag out of her "workspace," but the argument escalated because of that Si-Fi trigger. She couldn't give me a "logical" reason; she just kept saying, "Because I want it that way!"

At the time, I dismissed it as drama over a whim. I realized later that I was invalidating her because her argument lacked the kind of "purpose" I value. I hadn't considered that maintaining her immediate sensory environment was so vital to her peace of mind, or that "waiting" for my plan to finish would cause her so much stress. I’d appreciate any advice on how to spot these Si-needs sooner.

(One more thing: I don't think she had anything against giving the person the bottles; it was just that our ways of resolving the situation clashed.)

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u/idk-prr — 9 days ago

I know many people here don't trust tests, but honestly, I'm incapable of recognizing which cognitive functions are my strongest. I've taken like 3 super long tests and I keep getting LIE, but I have no idea. I'd say I'm somewhere between the Gamma and Beta quadras.

My Enneagram is very likely 3w4, which makes it even harder because I'm in the process of dropping the mask and all that, which is why I'm asking for your objective help.

To start with, the fact that I don't understand the function positions within myself is because I consider myself an adaptable person depending on what suits me or seems best. For me, it's automatic to take on any role or function, use it, and get what I want.

If I had to name something that tires me out, it's having to moderate my tone or my voice with people when I'm trying to talk about things that are serious or bothering me; I don't want to modulate my voice just so they don't feel offended. That's usually when it annoys me (I think that's Fe), but it doesn't bother me at all to do it when I need something or when I clearly see that it's counterproductive not to.

Regarding my Te, I wouldn't say I want to do everything efficiently in an obsessive way where I need to find the best methods all the time (or honestly, maybe I'm just not aware of it). I see it more as needing things to always work for me or be worth it in terms of time/effort/resources. It's very hard for me to do something "just because" without it passing through that filter; otherwise, a lot of doubts pop up like: "But what for?" or "Why?". For me, that's a sign that something isn't really worth it and I'm just looking for a reason.

Something that confuses me a lot about myself is Se and Fi.

I can be very reactive and get upset when someone crosses a boundary of mine, or even when I'm trying to be firmer with people and assert myself more. I think that comes from years of the same pattern happening, where I'd just get indignant because people never knew when to stop with me. So, I started being "firmer," but even then, it seems like instead of respecting it, they take it as a challenge—which annoys me. (Plus, I can also put pressure on people over anything; especially when someone is interested in me or I'm interested in them, I really look for that strong presence that won't easily bend).

I've also worked a lot on the area of private feelings and that kind of thing, but honestly, it annoys me when someone wants me to understand them or take care of them. It feels so tedious, as if they were pigeonholing me into a domestic role that I hate. On top of that, it no longer feels like a "connection" but rather an "obligation," and I tend to disconnect or get irritated until I explode.

I see my Ni in the aspect where I'm very aware of how events might unfold. I'm always able to visualize how an action of mine can carry weight in the future, and even the actions of the people around me (I think that's why I often overthink whether things are worth it or not).

Honestly, I don't know what other examples I can give you. If you had any questionnaires, opinions, or advice, that would be great.

Another thing is that, because of the fact that my type 3 mask is falling, I'm doing entirely too much introspection on myself, and that is the one thing I am 100% sure is an ongoing pattern in me

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u/idk-prr — 17 days ago