Non Affectionate partner, Emotionally and physically unavailable (23M 24F)
Non-Affectionate partner, Emotionally and physically unavailable (23M 24F)
TL;DR: My (23M) partner (24F) shows almost no emotional or physical affection, and I feel completely drained despite loving her deeply Looking for advice on how to handle this dynamic
I’ve been with my partner for a while now, and I’m really struggling with how emotionally and physically distant she is
She shows almost zero affection no “I love you,” no hugs, no kisses, no cuddling, no sexual intimacy
’m someone who expresses love openly
I tell her I love her multiple times a day, try to be affectionate, and make her feel cared for but I rarely get anything back
What confuses me is that she also says our relationship lacks “fun” like being silly together, joking around, or me cheering her up when she’s low, I do try, but it feels one sided when there’s little warmth or engagement from her side
Whenever she’s upset or needs to vent, I’m always there I listen, support her, and even sacrifice my sleep when needed
I genuinely try to show up for her in every way I can
She’s told me that she’s naturally very affectionate and sexual, In her past relationship, she was extremely expressive physically, emotionally, and sexually, But with me, she’s completely different cold, distant, and uninterested, That contrast hurts
When I brought this up, she said it’s because I hurt her in the past with my words and actions
I took that seriously and made changes. But despite that effort, nothing has improved on her end
At this point, I feel like I have to ask her if she loves me, because she never expresses it on her own, It makes me feel unwanted and insecure. Whenever I try to initiate emotional or physical intimacy, it usually gets brushed aside
I’m mentally exhausted, This situation has affected me a lot, to the point where I’ve started SSRIs to cope with the stress
I care about her deeply, but I feel drained and stuck in something that feels very one sided
For people who’ve experienced something similar
how did you approach it? Is there a healthier way to communicate this or set boundaries in this kind of situation?