Is it normal at this stage to feel so lonely?
So I am a little over 2 years out from losing my spouse and best friend quite suddenly while on vacation. Jesse was just 42. I can honestly say the first year was a total blur. I was on disability from shock. I returned to work and in the second year, while devastated, I felt a strange sense of being impermeable to anything life could throw at me. I even tried dating which basically was a flop of man children unfortunately.
I have to say support and sympathy has dried up just when I feel like the reality is hitting me. People are busy with their own lives and I worry sometimes that I am an after thought. I am alone most days and work from home alone. I keep in touch with my friends regularly but it isn't the same as having a partner. I cannot seem to motivate myself to do anything. No one has the time or money to travel with me. My stepsons are busy with their lives. I go out and do things alone but it makes me feel sort of pathetic. I am seeing now that I have to rebuild my life from scratch in some ways.
I have decided I can't talk to people about how I feel really anymore. I also don't want the rest of my life to be me alone and sad and bored. I am financially well off but don't want to go do things alone. I am just lonely and feeling a wee bit loserish these days. Have any of you faced this? How did you deal with it?