I want to ask if there are 2 emotionally mature people in a relationship, do one of them throw away the relationship without clearly stating their unmet needs and without giving their partner a chance to address those needs. Do such people also let their resentment grow and fall out of love completely and then initiate the breakup while giving reasons but no chance to correct it?
People who are in long term relationships, where one partner is secure or anxious and other is people pleaser/avoidant. The people pleaser would later on in the relationship start being unhappy with so many things but never dare to communicate clearly what they really want. My ex just kept on dropping hints like shall we do this or that activity? And here I was going through some stressful decisions that I had to make. I didn't understand that me saying no to these activities will make him just believe we are incompatible and now nothing could be done.
These people really dare to say the "Breakup" word but could not transparently state what they want and what needs are not fulfilled. Instead they will judge you from far, what needs of theirs that they gave you a hint about or mentioned once or twice are not getting done. Please grow up man. In long term relationships, people have other shit to think and take care of as well and they can't just keep on analysing what's in your mind. A clear communication would really save the trouble and keep us happier.
Also, they are just drowning inside but will still keep on giving you assurance and then suddenly blindside and leave you.
And the worst thing is, they felt they are losing love for you, but they won't dare bring that up, they will let the resentment build and absolutely hate you and detach when you are still together and just move freely once breakup is done, because they completed their detachment while living with you.
Note- I am not saying I was perfect. I have ignored some of their needs due to my own fear. But a simple statement that - hey, this need of mine is not met since a long time in the relationship, and it's kind of non negotiable for me at this point to stay in the relationship. Can we try to do this? This is not threatening, this is just clear communication. I have been in survival mode for God knows how long, because of my fear or trauma that I had because of my controlling parents. An eye opener, would have really helped, along with not giving fake assurance till the time you have made the decision and mostly detached.