What should be icks or red flags?
I’m single (33f) again after dating someone who I thought was a break from my pattern but ended up not being.
What are icks and what are red flags? I think I’m missing things here.
In this previous relationship, it was an ick to me how much he used Zyns and drank (30) and was still drinking beers and playing video games with his roommates 2-4 nights a week.
The red flags should’ve been the ❄️ snow use that was rare but still happens. And I chalked it up to not being a controlling girlfriend.
Or maybe the red flags should’ve been he never brought up any issues or conflicts and I always did. And when I was upset he would shut down and not try to talk to me about it but wait until I came to him. He always said he Never deserved me and I’m realizing that when people say that, you Need to believe them.
I think I’m realizing I’m bad at ignoring red flags because I only see the good.
He was kind, he was giving, he brought flowers and opened doors, chivalrous, and would give someone the shirt off of his back if he could. I met his friends and family, and he was really good in bed. He had a workout routine and he wrote me poems. He had drive and ambition because we’re both in high earning fields. But in training. And I thought maybe that would be enough for a relationship.
I’m thinking or at least realizing I think I was settling because I kept ignoring the bad.