Struggling to lose/motivate
I’m 5’4 and around 140 lbs now, but I was close to 200 when I was 15, so I’ve already lost a decent amount—but for the past 2ish years I’ve been stuck in this cycle of losing and gaining the same 10 pounds. I can’t seem to actually stay “lean,” and it’s so frustrating. I eat pretty healthy overall, but I’m in college and I do go out/drink like 2–3 nights a week, which usually turns into drunk eating, so I know that’s not helping. I do hot mat Pilates 3–4 times a week and walk 10–13k steps daily (tracked on my Fitbit), so I feel like I’m doing a lot right, but my body just isn’t changing the way I want. I also feel like I under-eat during the week and then overdo it on weekends, which probably messes everything up. Honestly, I just hate how I feel in my body right now and it feels weirdly out of control. I get random bursts of motivation but nothing ever sticks long-term—does anyone have advice for something sustainable that actually works?
Edit: I eat low calorie meals and have low calorie swaps. I try not to restrict heavy but I am disciplined. I don’t feel that my problem is calorie dense food but rather over eating. I do track sometimes but can be inconsistent due to life.