You want real but you don’t
People say they want real until they get it. Once they get it, it’s too intense, too much, overwhelming. I know people don’t want real. They think they do, but what they want is a water down diluted version of what real is because anything more than that is too complex for them to unravel or understand, especially if they can’t even sort out their own feelings.
I’ve poured my heart out to people. It overwhelms them.
And maybe the way I feel things isn’t so much different than the way other people do, maybe it’s just Explained in great detail everything that I experience whether it be feelings or something pleasant that’s caught my eye or something irritable. I experienced things in something far beyond high definition. I have my entire life.
I think whatever it is, that’s responsible for that part of my brain comes from the same place that my artistic inclinations come from.
And if me pouring my heart out that way overwhelms a romantic interest, I do not feel bad about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong. It bums me out, but I definitely wouldn’t want somebody to stick around if they couldn’t handle that part of me.
There are, however, very few people that I’ve freely offered that up for. Part of me wonders if those people who received that for me, well, I wonder if they ever understood how comfortable they felt to my soul.
It’s funny how sometimes I can meet somebody and instantly feel like I’ve known them for forever. It’s not everyone. It’s funny that I’ve met more people that have felt like that in the last year than I probably have in my entire life. I’ve questioned it but after everything that I’ve experienced, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just a strange coincidence that they all happens to be around me during this period.
But I’ll tell you nothing ignite my soul more than when somebody actually enjoys the way I experience the world around them. I’ve met very few who actually tell me that they like it and those people have no idea how good they make me feel about just being mean, something that I really needed the world can be messed up. I think it’s important to focus on those things that bring us joy, that we find beautiful, or even just bring on complex emotions.
Most people stifle what they want to say or are overly mindful of how they express themselves because they don’t want to be offensive. Or they’re worried about rejection.
Wow, if you aren’t real, that’s all I got left because I’ve come to the conclusion that if anybody rejects me for that they don’t belong in my life
So be mindful if it’s real that you want, then except the real that you get but if it’s just a reality that conforms to whatever it is, you got going on in your life, it’s not real that you want. It’s comfort and validation.