u/greatbigstars

We have never lived in the same city/state. I have been a part of my husband’s family for over a decade and I only received a birthday wish message after my sister in-law found out I was pregnant in 2023. It feels dehumanizing to only be acknowledged after a pregnancy or a point of connection through a blood relative inside of me. Like our relationship was irrelevant before this point.

I know plenty about her life, her kids, her job, her educational pursuits, her hobbies. Partially because I asked many questions throughout the years and took interest in her and partially because she posts moment by moment on social media.

In started coming the birthday wishes, and the mother’s day wishes only. She didn’t text me anything else. I politely replied with a thank you every time then a year later in 2024 I stopped replying because I didn’t understand the point.

She has had my phone number this entire time. And we usually visited her several times a year. We visited her after she gave birth to her third child and even stayed in her home.

My husband and I spent 5 years trying to conceive and we miscarried during this time. Only after a pregnancy was confirmed did she decide to reach out directly to me.

Update:

They had a family group text that she left me out of and didn’t add me until I pointed this out as a general example of how I was being treated by my husband’s family. (This took place after my baby was born with a heated exchange with my in-laws. My husband didn’t start the group chat. He wasn’t able to add anyone because the group had android users.

We have never spent one on one time together. I don’t ever remember her asking me very many questions to get to know me. Her family members are not curious people they just like spending time together and don’t seem to mind not getting to know each other.

Yes, I had her number and I tried calling her once and she never called me back. I joined her family she didn’t join mine. There is a power dynamic that no one is acknowledging.

When she wasn’t around, her family would make remarks about how she overused social media, was a rebellious child, or didn’t spend enough time with her parents side of the family.

TL;DR; SIL and I don’t live in the same city/state. She only started texting me after she knew I was pregnant. I’m trying to process why she did this and it has made me feel. Any thoughts?

We have never lived in the same city. I have been a part of my husband’s family for over a decade and I only received a birthday wish message after my sister in-law found out I was pregnant in 2023. It feels dehumanizing to only be acknowledged after a pregnancy or a point of connection through a blood relative inside of me. Like our relationship was irrelevant before this point.

I know plenty about her life, her kids, her job, her educational pursuits, her hobbies. Partially because I asked many questions throughout the years and took interest in her and partially because she posts moment by moment on social media.

In started coming the birthday wishes, and the mother’s day wishes only. She didn’t text me anything else. I politely replied with a thank you every time then a year later in 2024 I stopped replying because I didn’t understand the point.

She has had my phone number this entire time. And we usually visited her several times a year. We visited her after she gave birth to her third child and even stayed in her home.

My husband and I spent 5 years trying to conceive and we miscarried during this time. Only after a pregnancy was confirmed did she decide to reach out directly to me.

They had a family group text that she left me out of and didn’t add me until I pointed this out as a general example of how I was being treated by my husband’s family. (This took place after my baby was born with a heated exchange with my in-laws. My husband didn’t start the group chat. He wasn’t able to add anyone because the group had android users.

We have never spent one on one time together. I don’t ever remember her asking me very many questions to get to know me. Her family members are not curious people they just like spending time together and don’t seem to mind not getting to know each other.

Yes, I had her number and I tried calling her once and she never called me back. I joined her family she didn’t join mine. There is a power dynamic that no one is acknowledging.

When she wasn’t around, her family would make remarks about how she overused social media, was a rebellious child, or didn’t spend enough time with her parents side of the family.

TL;DR; SIL and I don’t live in the same city/state. She only started texting me after she knew I was pregnant. I’m trying to process why she did this and it has made me feel. Any thoughts?

We have never lived in the same city/state. I have been a part of my husband’s family for over a decade and I only received a birthday wish message after my sister in-law found out I was pregnant in 2023. It feels dehumanizing to only be acknowledged after a pregnancy or a point of connection through a blood relative inside of me. Like our relationship was irrelevant before this point.

I know plenty about her life, her kids, her job, her educational pursuits, her hobbies. Partially because I asked many questions throughout the years and took interest in her and partially because she posts moment by moment on social media.

In started coming the birthday wishes, and the mother’s day wishes only. She didn’t text me anything else. I politely replied with a thank you every time then a year later in 2024 I stopped replying because I didn’t understand the point.

She has had my phone number this entire time. And we usually visited her several times a year. We visited her after she gave birth to her third child and even stayed in her home.

My husband and I spent 5 years trying to conceive and we miscarried during this time. Only after a pregnancy was confirmed did she decide to reach out directly to me.

I traveled for many hours for many years to visit her in suburbia western NY. I went to her home several times throughout the years. I offered to babysit and help her anyway I could. She visited us once even though she would come to DC regularly because she liked the city. I wanted a relationship with her but after so many years of nothing I gave up. I’m not interested in whatever this new interest on her part is. It’s super weird as you like to put it.

She has said she was going to visit my child and has made plans and bailed several times. She has never met her nephew. She has only sent me generic texts.

Update:

They had a family group text that she left me out of and didn’t add me until I pointed this out as a general example of how I was being treated by my husband’s family. (This took place after my baby was born with a heated exchange with my in-laws. My husband didn’t start the group chat. He wasn’t able to add anyone because the group had android users.

We have never spent one on one time together. I don’t ever remember her asking me very many questions to get to know me. Her family members are not curious people they just like spending time together and don’t seem to mind not getting to know each other.

Yes, I had her number and I tried calling her once and she never called me back. I joined her family she didn’t join mine. There is a power dynamic that no one is acknowledging.

When she wasn’t around, her family would make remarks about how she overused social media, was a rebellious child, or didn’t spend enough time with her parents side of the family.

TL;DR; SIL and I don’t live in the same city/state. She only started texting me after she knew I was pregnant. I’m trying to process why she did this and it has made me feel. Any thoughts?

I have been a part of my husband’s family for over a decade and I only received a birthday wish message after my sister in-law found out I was pregnant.

She has had my phone number this entire time. And we usually visited her several times a year. We visited her after she gave birth to her third child and even stayed in her home.

My husband and I spent 5 years trying to conceive and we miscarried during this time. Only after a pregnancy was confirmed did she decide to reach out directly to me.