u/goreshitz

Recently, I felt like I was ranting too much to my boyfriend over womens problems, so I came onto reddit (this subreddit is one of my favs, you guys are so nice) and ranted about my own personal thoughts, opinions and experiences. I've noticed the people here are so nice.

Also, i dont have a problem with men replying to my posts and dropping their opinions either. Everyone deserves a say in things, and I'm aware some men are active here because they want to learn more about women, some are from female-dominant families etc.

My problem is the fact that I've noticed alot of annomynous accounts shame women, downvote them etc in my replies for voicing their own experiences and opinions. I don't mind if you downvote someone, its not my business. But why would you automatically go into "debate mode" and argue whenever a woman is discussing their problems?

It feels like some people arent here to understand women, instead they’re here waiting for something to debate against. If you dislike women, why are you spending your time in women-based subreddits getting angry at posts?

I would definitely label myself as an optimist, and I try to see light in every situation. But i cannot bring myself to see the light or positivity in a man who dislikes women lurking in a woman-based subreddit. Its not good for your mental health or the people around you, and women here probably do not want to talk to men who hate women. (duh, its a woman-based subreddit)

This isnt a rhetorical question by the way. I am genuinely curious as to what goes through these peoples heads.

My first grasp: They dont know what feminism means. At all. They think feminism means women hating men. These are the men that comment “lets stop gender wars!” on videos where women are talking about their personal experiences with weird men. (mind you, women have been experiencing these “gender wars” for thousands of years)

Even if feminism meant women were above men, theyre “scared” or “mad” because they view themselves as superior and enjoy putting women in their places. If women were above men for any reason (example: they were favoured because they created life), they see it as oppression, because they’re losing their grasp on the only form of hierarchy they can feel. So I always let these people know that they wont be effected by feminism in any way if they are a man.

My second grasp: They know what feminism means, but they view equality as oppression. This is because men believed they were superior for years, they fully think its “okay” and “natural” to objectify women and treat women lesser than them. If these feelings were taken away, they’d obviously be angry. Its an insanely childish mentality.

MEN DO NOT LOSE ANYTHING FROM FEMINISM. If you are generally a good guy, feminism wont effect your life whatsoever. If feminism is put in place everywhere, women will be equal to men and both sexes would have equal rights. (but thats in a perfect world, unfortunately women are being oppressed everywhere.)

Alot of men seem to believe that feminism takes something away from them. Whenever i debate a man about how feminism negatively effects him, first i educate him. I tell him that feminism is the equality of females and males (and much more) and if he still doesnt change his opinion, I ask him why it personally effects him if women are equal to him.

99% of the time, they cant answer.

What are your thoughts on anti-feminist men? These are mine from personal experience.

DISCLAIMER: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DISLIKE HER AND HER MUSIC. I dont mind. Im not a diehard fan.

I was a Chappell Roan fan as soon as I heard the song Casual (if you havent listened to it, you should. Its really good). I wouldnt call myself a diehard fan or defender, I couldnt care less if you love her music or hate it but i wanted to talk about the controversy.

Recently, a famous footballer came forward and said HER security guard got upset at their child for wanting to talk to Chappell Roan. (I think his name is Jorginho). Basically, Jorginho posted a statement claiming that his child had been harassed by Chappell Roans securty guards for simply smiling.

Chappell Roan came forward and posted a video basically saying "That was not my security guard, my security guard was not with me and I had no clue this even happened" (You can still find the video on the internet)

Everyone made memes saying that Chappell Roan would harm children, going as far as to roleplay and act out Chappell Roan harming children, posting these videos to social medias like Tiktok and Instagram. This the problem. You are allowed to not believe Chappell Roan, you are allowed to dislike her, but the problem is the fact that half of these people dont speak up about abusive male artists and theyre acting like Chappell Roan is evil.

Around a week before this controversy, Chappell Roan asked the paparazzi to leave her alone, obviously the internet did their thing and demonized her, they said she was insanely rude to "fans", they said she goes out of her way to harass her fans etc. Since when was paparazzi considered fans???

Alot of people are getting insanely angry at Chappell Roan for this, but i never see these people get this angry over abusive male artists/celebrities who have proven allegations. Even if the internet acknowledges an abusive male celebrity, he becomes a meme for months. (P Diddy, Chris brown, etc)

Honestly I feel like I've given up. I cant even get mad at this stuff anymore, i feel like everyone jumps to conclusions because they desperately need a reason to hate a successful woman.

I constantly see people debate about how women care less about looks, and theres always someone up in your business talking about how “women care about height”. Which is true, but not all women obviously lol

this point would be solid if alot of men didnt constantly shame women for having “ugly feet”, “ugly shoulders”, “ugly eyes”, shaming women for literally having small amounts of body hair, shaming women for being different races etc. Lets not forget that gross men are of known for having a thing for short women.

So in their eyes, it’s perfectly fine to want a short woman with perfect feet, no political opinions, perfect face, perfect nose, perfect hips, perfect skin, perfect EVERYTHING. But god forbid I want someone an inch taller than me OR EVEN the same height as me.

Lets not forget alot of these men refuse to even ACKNOWLEDGE tall women, viewing them as “masculine” and “weird” and I genuinely believe that so many men jump into debates because they’re scared of women treating them the way they treat us.