My mom had a heart attack on Mother's day.
I'm 45. On mother's Day I received a call from my dad. I'm in Chicago and the rest of my family is in st. Louis. He told me they were at the hospital and that she had had a heart attack. It was all very hectic and we decided to sit tight for a bit until we found out more. We ended up having to drive to st. Louis at 3am Sunday night/Monday morning to the hospital.
My family kept her on life support until my wife and I could get there. Once we arrived I said my goodbyes and we turned the machines off.
The drive back yesterday evening I was doing ok. When I woke up this morning I was a mess. I was bawling for hours. For at least the last 10 years or so I call my mom every morning at 7am. I hated calling her and if I didn't call she would call me worried. I always called because my dad said she looked forward to it every day.
I couldn't call this morning but this time I really wanted to. I wasn't in a good mood Sunday morning but I'm so glad I was able to say happy mother's day to her.
She was only 72 and in good health. It happened so fast it feels like I'm stuck in a nightmare. Memorial Day weekend we are having a celebration of a life party which I will be heading back to st. Louis for. She's being cremated and we are all getting some of her ashes. I think I might plant a tree in the backyard with some of them.
I have thought as they got older about how it would feel if one of them passed away. It's 100 times harder than I imagined. I feel like a part of me is missing. None of us got to say a proper goodbye. The mornings are going to be extremely hard for a while. I almost was going to call her off hone this morning but had to remind myself she wasn't there to answer.