I finally gained the courage to go no contact, and the response from my mother surprised me. She seems to have respected it
A few days ago, I made this post, where I explained all of the reasons why I wanted to go no contact with my mother. After that, I started by sending fewer "good morning" messages, and in the middle of thinking about this decision and when or how to do it, I got sick.
For the first time in one year and three months after I moved from her house, I had to say no to a visit, explaining I was sick. She started, like always when I am, questioning my symptoms, illness, or how long I needed to rest for, even suggesting I was lying. If I didn't respond to her "Hello" morning message in less than an hour, she started calling me or messaging my husband.
But then, yesterday, she asked me, "I sense that you're weird lately. What's going on, do you need something?". My husband, who went no contact with his mother for 7 years and wants to resume it (so he understands and doesn't judge), suggested I could try to open up, and if she reacts badly, then that's my opportunity to never talk to her again.
So I told her I feel uncomfortable with her questioning my illness or my need of rest because of it, symptoms, and so on, and how she invalidates me and tells me dentists are trying to scam me because my teeth are so bad at 24 (since she barely took me to doctors or dentists as a child) that now I need to make a lot of repairs on them and are destroyed. Also, because I never received any treatment for allergies or my asthma, now I have some consequences as an adult.
Just clarifying: although I am an adult, until I moved from there, she always manipulated me into not going to doctors or that I had nothing. Until I moved with my boyfriend, now husband, I was able to freely make decisions without being coerced by her.
I also confronted her about how she let her now ex-husband abuse me, threaten, hit me, and so on for around 6 years (5-11), which she denied and said "she kicked him out of the house", only that she did it when her new child was in danger, not when I was. She accused me of saying bullshit and told me she wishes me that I would be a better mother than her, if she were such a bad mother, when she knows I don't want to have children.
I ended up blocking her, but I expected her to go all crazy and start sending SMS, calls, or even come here. I just deleted her from Facebook, and she didn't even try there. I read experiences here (and also from my husband) where people like her turn very invasive after you block them. Honestly, I prefer quiet; that's all I want, and I told her I wanted to live the rest of my life in peace, but I didn't expect her to respect it so easily.
Now I also have to block my grandmother, who beat, threatened, and did awful things to my now passed grandpather, and I haven't visited her in months because of that. And now, I'm basically familyless, as I don't have contact with my father's family (he's a harasser, didn't live in my country, so it's not like they were a family before), and I must admit it feels weird.
Is this common as well? Do you think she will just refuse to ever contact me again and respect my wishes, or will she start to harass me sooner or later?