Was this negging ? Or just rude behavior ?
I just need support right now because I feel really shaken.
I was talking to a guy I had been intimate with recently. We met on tinder a few weeks ago he was visiting NY. It was a hookup that’s fine we were still chatting staying connected on what’s app for a few weeks. We were having what I thought was a normal, honest conversation about life, money, culture, goals, and where we are in life. When we talked about money earlier given he lives in Europe he shared his salary was around $30k. He asked how much I make I told him a six figure range the truth. He was shocked and said I’d never make money like that in his country just weird statements. For context, I currently live in a renovated basement apartment in my parents’ home because I’m saving money for a condo. I used to feel embarrassed by it but with the economy right now and living in NY I’ve grown to just accept it especially if I want ownership one day.
Moments later after we were talking about education/careers, he said something like, “You’re educated but you live in your parents’ basement like Harry Potter,” then followed it up with “just kidding 😂.”
I was honestly so hurt and shocked. I cursed him out and made some nasty comments because I was deeply offended and it triggered the previous embarrassment I had for my living situation that I literally just healed from. I think what’s bothering me most is that I had let this person into my home and had been intimate with him, so the comment felt really violating and cruel. It felt like he took something personal about my life and used it as a punchline. I’m very new to dating and still learning so much but this really makes me want to take a break from it all.
Now I’m sitting here shaking and trying not to spiral or turn this into shame about myself.
I’m not really looking for judgment. I just need support and perspective. Has anyone else had someone they were intimate with make a low blow like this? How did you calm your body down and not internalize it?