Can we talk about how hard recovery is?
I saw another post, don’t remember if it was on this subreddit or another one about life after leaving abusive relationships. It made me want to further discuss how exhausting and hard recovery is.
Maybe we can share some struggles and give each other some virtual hugs and support? I for one really need it. Below is my most apparent struggles right now.
My abuse contained physical and emotional abuse all intertwined - and I find myself scrambling around in the dark of my own mind after leaving. My head is in a state of constant conflict. My mind feels like a messy room where the chair is upside down and the painting is crooked. Nothing is where it is supposed to be. If I reach for safety I find fear, I reach for anger and I find love. The world outside is in screaming color, it’s too bright, too noisy and so unsafe.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, and I’m awaiting treatment but today I feel especially knocked down by the relentless state of confusion. The disconnect between my bodily emotions and the interpreted emotion in my mind is so confusing. Everything is just wrong and I feel like I am therefore just wrong.