Wife broke trust.. need advice
I am not the type to look for advice for something like this on reddit usually but i really want an objective option from a third party.
my wife (42f) and i (43m) have been together for 15 years and married for almost 12 years. we have to kids together. our marriage has been good for the most part. we have had our ups and downs like any couple with some bigger bumps over the last year but have always been pretty strong.
We are catholic and for lent i gave up social media which was from like late feb until early april. got back on social media a few days ago and i am looking on my wife’s threads account which i follow because she posts dance videos and running/workout videos. i always like to see what she posts because i like to follow and support her. anyway two days ago im going through her posts from the last month just trying to catch up and see that she responded to an open post about dating a virgo. she basically said that she dated a virgo and it was the most amazing relationship and that 16 years later she is still not over it.
needless to say i was kind of floored when i read this as that is literally the entire length of our relationship. that night i showed it to her and pretty much asked her wtf. she said she posted that when her and i had had an argument and she was angry. she apologized and deleted the post and assured me that she is over this person and that her posting something like that is inappropriate and disrespectful to our marriage.
the thing is i cant get this out of my head. she seems to want to just move on like this never happened. meanwhile i am second guessing our entire relationship and marriage. has she really been thinking about this person for our entire relationship?? she swears up and down that this is not the case and that she is sorry and this very well could be the case but that is the exact response i’d expect from someone trying to gaslight their way out of this situation. like is she truly sorry or only sorry that she got called out on it. she had no problem posting it and leaving it on social media for the world to see for a month and was not sorry for it at all until confronted about it.
i really do love my wife and im trying to get passed this but it really feels like a betrayal to me. she can say she’s over this person all she wants but that post came from somewhere, right? since reading this i feel weird when she touches me, try’s to kiss me, hugs me, etc. like i used to feel excited, and feel love and feel happy and now i feel… nothing, emptiness.. why do i feel this? i do love my wife and want to get passed this. but i feels like i was betrayed, trust was broken and maybe the empty feeling is just the way my body/mine/heart is reacting to protect itself?? i don’t know.
how did you regain trust in your wife/husband when it was lost? did you get that feeling back? did the feeling of emptiness ever go away?
tl;dr: wife broke trust. i feel nothing and emptiness now toward her when we touch. i want to make it work but need advice on how to feel that spark again