My ex messaged me after five months of no contact
TLDR: After a traumatic breakup (psych ward, jail, etc) I cut contact with my ex and blocked her on everything. In a state of grief I unblocked her on insta to see how she was doing. I forgot to block her again afterward and a couple weeks ago I got a message from her saying “Hi, I noticed the unblock. I just want to be authentic. Im just tired of the unspoken weight, I hope you are well.” Do I respond? I miss her so much and yet never want to see her again. Feeling very confused.
My ex and I had a very VERY traumatic breakup. Due to her severe mental health issues (BPD) and lack of insurance (meaning she couldn’t afford treatment) I ended it because it became too intense with no end in sight. She relied on me completely for everything and treated me like I was a black hole of never ending emotional support. This was all going on while I had a lot going on in my family. My mother has a progressive disease and things were getting really bad with her. After a year of being together and after about eight months of trying to fix things I decided to end it.
When I broke up with my ex she self harmed and I had to 5150 her. It was awful. Then she broke into my parents house while my disable mother was home alone. The police tried to get her to leave but she refused and grabbed onto my mom’s leg and started to pull which is extremely dangerous for my mom since she’s so fragile. The police ended up having to physically drag her away and arrested her. After that incident I blocked her on everything and changed my gate code. That was about five months ago.
On a particularly difficult day a little while ago I was missing her so much that I unblocked her on insta to see how she was doing because I heard she had gotten fired. I guess I forgot to reblock her because I got a message from her saying “Hi, I noticed the unblock. I just want to be authentic. Im just tired of the unspoken weight, I hope you are well.”
Part of me wants to respond because as someone who I cared about so much and who I once thought I would spend my life with, I hate the feeling of ignoring her. But if I respond I’m scared it’ll reestablish something I’m not ready for. At most I think I’d be okay with a couple texts wishing each other well or getting a bit of closure but I just have a feeling that won’t be enough for her and she’ll want more of me.