u/evening_tumbleweedd

Sometimes he doesn’t hate you… he hates himself
And that changes everything.

When someone is at war with themselves, they don’t know how to love you peacefully. They’ll project, withdraw, criticize, or make you feel like you’re the problem.
I’ve seen women who are kind, driven, and emotionally available end up feeling small because the man they’re with can’t meet them where they are.

It made me realize: you can’t build something healthy with someone who refuses to grow.
Choose people who are trying. Who see your worth. Who doesn’t feel threatened by it.

It’s not always intentional, but it still causes damage.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned:
Don’t just look for love, look for effort, self-awareness, and growth.
Everyone deserves a chance, but not endless chances if they refuse to change.

Let’s stop turning someone else’s harmful behavior into our responsibility.
You didn’t attract them.
They saw what they could get away with.
And that says everything about them, not you.
You were targeted by someone who knew exactly what they were doing.
And in a world that already blames victims,
the worst thing you can do is turn that blame inward.
It was never your fault. Not then, not now.

I’ll say it again, people who are deeply unhappy with themselves will create drama where there is none. If there’s no chaos, they’ll invent it. If there’s peace, they’ll disrupt it.

Some people genuinely feed off tension, conflict, and other people’s problems because they have nothing fulfilling going on in their own lives. It’s not personality, it’s projection.

And honestly? Depending on other people’s misery for entertainment or validation is just… embarrassing.

stop telling women what to wear, where to go, how to act.

don’t tell the victim how to avoid being attacked—hold the attacker accountable.

educate your sons. teach consent, respect, and boundaries.

punish the ones who harm.

women deserve to exist freely without constantly being told how to survive.

i didn’t even realise it at first. i thought i was overthinking, being too much, asking for too much.

but my body knew.

the inconsistency, the mixed signals, the manipulation… it made me restless all the time. i couldn’t relax around him. i kept asking for the bare minimum, just consistency and somehow that was “too much.”

and the worst part? i kept trying to fix it. i kept thinking if i just communicated better, stayed calmer, gave him more chances, it would change. it didn’t.

when i finally said i don’t feel safe with you anymore, suddenly he “cared”, suddenly he wanted to try. but it was all words. no real change.

if your body feels anxious, uneasy, constantly on edge around someone—listen to that. that’s not love, that’s your nervous system telling you something is wrong.

you don’t need to fully understand it. you don’t need closure. you don’t need to fix it.

just leave. your peace is not worth negotiating for anyone.

They always think they’re different, special, misunderstood… but somehow always the victim too

no matter what they do, there’s always a justification, a reason, or someone else to blame

and if you care, if you try to understand, if you give them empathy… it just gets used against you.

You start thinking maybe if you’re patient enough, understanding enough, they’ll change

but they won’t. Not unless they actually want to

and it’s not your job to fix, heal, or “reach” someone who doesn’t even see a problem in themselves

you don’t owe anyone your energy at the cost of your own well-being.

Sometimes you keep waiting for an apology.

For them to understand what they did, how it affected you, how much it hurt.

But the truth is, some people will never get it.

And even if they do apologize, it won’t always come with an accountability or a change.

I’m slowly learning that healing doesn’t come from them.

It comes from choosing yourself and walking away, even without that closure.

You don’t have to stay or fight just to be understood.

I’ve started realizing how easily people throw around the word “friend.”

Just because you talk to me, have access to me, or are around me doesn’t mean we’re friends.

Friendship, at the very least, requires respect. And a lot of people skip that part.

They want the label so they can stay in your life, but don’t actually treat you like someone they value.

And when you finally pull away, it turns into “but I thought we were friends.”

No. You just got used to having access to me.

🤡

The woman in this image is Nejm, who was awarded “Model of the Year” at Vogue India’s Forces of Fashion 2025.

It’s honestly crazy how limited beauty standards have been for so long, like only certain skin tones and body types were ever put on a pedestal.

And then you see someone like her being recognized on this level, and it kind of makes you question everything we were taught to see as “ideal.”

Dark skin, curves, South Indian features—none of this is new or “different,” it’s just been overlooked.

Women like her aren’t fitting into beauty standards, they’re expanding them.

And for a lot of us, that actually means something.

TW: Emotional harm

i thought i could handle it

that it wouldn’t affect me if i just stayed strong

but some spaces don’t heal you, they drain you