How do I bring this up to my therapist?
I'm kinda new to therapy. I've been ruminating on this for so long that I don't even know where to begin.
I don't think I'm fully detrans but I'm not sure if medical transition was a good decision. It didn't make me happy and now I have more insecurities than before. I don't wanna be a man and I've never desired to be a man, that's kind of just the path I got pushed down. I think I had a lot of other issues that deserved to be focused on before making permanent decisions about my body as a child.
Everything I could possibly say has already been said by transphobe and terfs, and I'm terrified of sounding like them. That last line I wrote is almost word-for-word what conservatives say. Not to mention that once I say this outloud, I can't take it back.
I feel really ashamed about myself, like I should just suck it up and live with the stupid decisions I've made. But my brain is screaming for help, and I don't know how to ask for help. My brain is so sjfjdkgjdldhsjhdksbfffff
How did you guys bring this up to your therapist? How did you push yourself to actually speak about it in the first place? How did you find the words to speak about it?