u/eladrip

Hi,

I have been looking at this sub and I do wonder why married men would even consider opening the marriage?

Just by looking at the posts here at the sub this is the picture for a lot of men that I came across.

I know this will be highly dramatized and to the extreme but this how some of the posts and comments sound to me.

The first thing is you will not be desired as an ENM stright men, while your wife will from the get go go on dates and have sex with others.

If you are lucky it will take you a few months to actually be an active ENM participant, most likely around 1 year.

Furthermore, during that time most likely you will be neglected due to NRE.

If you manage to stick through it your wife will grow attachment to others her commitment to you as a partner and you as a couple will diminish and you will be eventually primary for logistical,social, financial and legal ressons only or in the worst case be made a secondary, which in my opinion is the same as cheating.

In the meantime you will be told to.just be supportive and communicate, not to put restrictions on her as it shows jealousy and insecurity, you know valid emotions, and become a robot that accepts everything in the name of autonomy and to take up hobbies and make friends in the free time that is carved by your wife enjoying healthy relationship without you and enjoying what little time is left of your relationship and saying yhank you for the sympathy dates and sex. So at that point you are just a spineless shell of a men that is indoctrinated to stay and pretend you are some kind of "evolved" as not to mind the reality of your wife living a life with other men while you are alone most of the time.

1. please tell me that is not true for the vast majority of men?

2. if there is a carnal of truth to it why do.it?

3. if you know that you are more likely to divorce by being in an ENM relationship why enter? Just to see if you beat the odds of staying together while having a lot of sex?

4. do you think your wife would be able to endure those kinds of disadvantages in the relationship and if not why ask you to? in the case she initiated ENM

5. how do you keep the primary relationship solid and committed, the two of you as a unit, as it was before opening up and avoiding the dilution by multiple partners?

Thank you in advance

EDIT: just to clarify, I am talking about solo dating and not for swingers.

I posted earlier a question about one of the rules of the sub, and there were other questions raised by others, and instead of having a discussion and debate about their reasoning, they just removed the post without any explanation.

I did not break any rule in this post, but it got removed anyhow.

Is any of the mods honest enough to have a transparent, respectful discussion about the state of the sub and it's rules or are you going to remove this post as well and hid?

Can someone explain the rationale behind rule 10 of this sub?

I understand and agree with the rest but I don't understand what is the rationale of this rule?

I will keep to the rules just want clarification to why is this rule in effect? Does that not break the rule of gatekeeping? It seems very contradictory and not appreciating the show, which is another rule.