ULPT - Stepdad used mom as ATM for 20 years; divorce likely. Ideas?
Alright, need some “creative but not illegal” ideas here.
My mom has been married ~20 years (second marriage for both). For most of that time, she basically bankrolled their entire life:
She’s paid the mortgage on their house since ~2007
Covered most/all of their bills for at least the last decade
Put money into his business and worked there for YEARS for free. Business ended up going under
Helped fund repairs and costs on a second property
Paid for vacations, meals, day-to-day life
Added him to assets she bought herself
She did all of this willingly because she loved him and thought they were building a life together.
Here’s where it gets gross:
This only became a problem when they started estate planning.
Suddenly:
He wants things structured his way
Downplays or ignores everything she contributed
Has accused her (and us) of being greedy
Agreed to start paying part of the bills recently… and is now months behind
Continues spending money while owing her money
From the outside, it looks like he’s treating this like a competition he wants to win, not a marriage he wants to honor.
She’s not trying to take everything. She actually wants him to still be able to pass things to his kids. She just wants to feel like her decades of financial support are acknowledged and treated fairly.
But he’s dragging his feet, avoiding reality, and threatening divorce because it will most likely financially benefit him.
Divorce is now very much on the table. We are in a community property state in America.
What I’m asking:
What are some non-illegal, borderline-unethical ways to:
Apply pressure so he actually has to face reality
Make his current “comfortable” situation less comfortable
Create consequences for someone who’s been financially carried for decades
Or generally shift leverage without doing anything that would screw her legally