Birth father suddenly made contact and I have no idea how to feel or what to do
I’ve been in contact with my bio mom and my siblings for a year now. I’ve never reached out to my bio father but he’s not a good person at all, so I wasn’t interested in initiating contact
He’s the main reason I was put up for adoption. He and his family treated my bio mom horribly before and throughout the pregnancy. He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me (or with my brother) whatsoever.
23 years later he now contacts me and my brother out of nowhere. I asked my bio mom if he’s contacted her too, and she says he’s repent and is remorseful for everything he’s done. She’s encouraging me to connect with him. They’re all very religious and it seems to have a component for them in some way, but I’m not and this all has me a bit confused and shocked. My sister thinks I should hear him out because this must be weighing on him for him to reach out after all this time.
Because of him I couldn’t grow up with my bio family. I was separated from my roots, my culture, and my sense of identity is just non existent. How does a “father” reject their own child before they’re even born, and how does the child sit with that feeling? He faced no consequences yet my life was completely changed, didn’t even have a chance. I know we can’t go back, and I know that him reaching out says something because yea he could’ve continued to ignore my existence. But I have no idea what I feel right now and nobody in my life understands this kind of situation. I can’t just forgive so easily. Do people like him even understand how their actions impact others? Do they even genuinely care? I think I’m a mix of angry, sad, confused, and kinda wanna scream into a pillow forever
I appreciate any advice, support, encouragement, or even a cheesy joke to give me a laugh 😅