i have PTSD from DV, and my new boyfriend groped me in my sleep, advice ?
hi, i developed PTSD about 1.5 years ago after leaving my abusive ex boyfriend who sexually assaulted me in my sleep and broke into my house (on a different occasion) while i was asleep.
because of this, i struggle with insomnia when i’m triggered, when the anniversary comes up, and when i try sleeping with new people. my new boyfriend and i have been dating for a few months and i just started being able to sleep kinda normally recently when he spends the night.
however, the other night, he began groping me, specifically my chest area, while i was asleep. i woke up to it and just kinda tossed back and forth trying to brush it off and indirectly signal to stop because i was too tired to have a conversation about it. he kinda backed off from doing it, but i would feel him press his boner against me afterward. it took me awhile to fall back asleep but i eventually managed.
my boyfriend knows i have DV PTSD, but he doesn’t know all the details of what caused it. right now i feel a bit dissociate-y and down, but i’m a bit conflicted because besides this one incident, he’s genuinely been the best guy i’ve ever dated; he’s respectful, calm, caring, and has listened to me whenever i’ve set boundaries.
for context: we’re in our early 20’s; this is his first “real” romantic relationship and sexual relationship, so i’m wondering on whether he thinks this is normal/okay ? either way, i do plan to talk to him about this, when i’m ready. i don’t expect him to react rashly, but i wanted your guys thoughts and advice on this. is it a dealbreaker or a genuine mistake? do i wait to judge his response whenever i bring it up to determine that? thanks so much