One of my abusers died
I’m 24 now and the man who molested me and my sister constantly throughout our childhood has died. I thought I would feel better but I feel worse because I never told anybody but my sister. I didn’t even say anything or react when he was doing stuff to me I just would lay there and look at him. it was at my grandma’s house everyday and I know if I would’ve said something she would’ve helped me so I don’t know why I didn’t.
Now I am paying the price because it’s on my mind everyday and I can’t get it out. I was so disgusting. He was my big cousin and he touched my sister too, then she started touching me and kissing me whenever we were alone but I don’t blame her because he did stuff to her too and I love my sister so much. I’m just tired of feeling so nasty and sad. I’m 24 now and I’ve never had sex or anything because it feels like people only want to touch me when they’re not supposed to. I just don’t know how to cope anymore and I wish I could go back to before when I didn’t react to this stuff as a kid.