u/dealingwithabreakup

Hey,

Around three months ago my ex-gf (F30) dumped me (M27) over text, on New Years Eve, and I still struggle with moving on and processing it. I think that it hit me way harder than it should, but idk, I just feel like sharing all of this on reddit to get some understanding from people who were in similar situations.

Our relationship started in the first half of the last year, we met on the internet, and we got close really quickly - we had so many common interests, so many common topics, we literally texted for 10+ hours every single day, despite both having a busy and demanding jobs. I'm someone who's a bit anxious, so I didn't even think about her in a romantic way back then, I considered her just a friend, but then she suggested meeting up IRL, we met up, and it went really well (the "date" lasted for the entire day lol), and I slowly started falling in love. After that we decided to have a few more dates, and then we became serious about the relationship.

The relationship was amazing too, we spent a loooot of time together IRL and online, and I'm genuinely devastated that we'll never spend any more time together, or even talk. I'd say way more about it, but I feel like my brain blocked a lot of these memories, and trying to "pull them out" makes me feel scared.

I'm an anxious person, due to some past experiences, I've always been scared that someone is going to just abandon me in a relationship without any explanations or giving us a chance to fix things, but she kind of soothed that feeling by telling me that she cares about her friendships and relationships, that she's got the same friends for 10+ years already, so it made me really comfortable with loving her.

But, then, suddenly, on New Years Eve, she decided to just end things. Over damn text. She said that it's because she confused infatuation with love, but like, is that even possible? It left me genuinely devastated, because I've always tried to be the most loving boyfriend possible. I always asked her about her day, I've thought about our future, I've always cared about her and remembered all the little things she liked. I tried my best to treat her like a part of my life, and in return I got dumped like a piece of trash, and she was so cold during it, it was literally unbelievable to me and it felt like a dream.

I went complete no-contact, just to protect myself from further harm being done to me, and after few weeks I started being okay again, but right now the memories started resurfacing, and I do feel really bad because I imagined future with her, and instead I got dumped.

I know that in few months I'm going to be okay again, but I feel like I won't be able to love someone else ever again - deep inside I know that if I'll get in a relationship again, I'll always be worried that I'll get randomly dumped, just like it happened last time, and I don't really want to put my traumas on another person because I know that it's really unfair.

I don't really understand why she got into a relationship with me, why we met each other's parents, each other's friends, spent so much time together, just for her to treat me like this. I know that I'm not a perfect person of any sorts, I definitely made some mistakes, but it's just so unfair. I've always tried my best and in return I got this.

It's just unbelievable how someone can do something so evil to someone who loved them, cared about them, and wanted to get old with them.

Thanks for reading my wall of text <3