u/dainty-dreamdustx

I need to write this somewhere because I have been holding it for a long time and today something shifted permanently.

my brother is several years younger than me. I spent most of my adult life being the person who showed up for him. when he got into trouble I helped. when he needed somewhere to stay I made room. when he burned bridges I tried to be the one bridge he could not burn.

over the past couple of years the things he was doing got worse. not just self destructive, harmful to other people. I kept telling myself there was a version of this where he turned it around. I kept finding reasons to believe the next time would be different.

last week I found out about something he had done that I could not rationalize or minimize or file away. it was serious and it involved someone who could not protect themselves.

today I went to the authorities and told them what I knew.

I have been sitting in my car in a parking lot for the past hour just. sitting here.

I love my brother. I also know that I did the right thing. I know both of those things are true at the same time and I do not know how to hold them together.

everyone always says you would know what to do when it really mattered. I did know. I just did not know it would feel like this.

I do not really have a question. I just needed to say it out loud somewhere that was not inside my own head.

i rent a small storage unit thats attached to our building. i pay for it separately, its in my name, its mine. and my roommate knows this. we talked about it when i first got it and he said he understood it wasnt shared space

he has used it without asking like four times now. just helped himself to the space to store his stuff temporarily, usually sporting equipment or things he doesnt want in the apartment. and each time i found out because i went to get something of mine and his stuff was in the way

i asked him about it the first time. he said it was just for a day or two and he wasnt hurting anything. i told him please just ask first. he said sure

three more times after that

then last friday i came home to find his stuff in there again. a bunch of it this time, like he had done a seasonal swap of his gear. and i was heading out of town for the weekend in about an hour

so i moved his stuff to the hallway outside his bedroom door. put my things back where they belonged. locked the unit with the new padlock i had just bought that week. left for the weekend

he called twice that night. texted three times. something about his stuff being in the hallway and the unit being locked

i didnt respond until sunday evening when i was on my way home. told him the unit was locked because it was mine and his stuff was in the hallway because thats where it belonged

he said i couldve just talked to him before leaving

i told him i had talked to him three times before and nothing had changed

roommate situation is now pretty tense

AITA?

my friend had too much to drink at a house party last weekend. she found me around midnight looking unwell and asked if I could stay close to her while she sat down. I said of course and got her settled on a couch with water.

then her ex showed up.

she saw him across the room, handed me her cup, said she needed two minutes, and walked over to him.

that was four hours ago.

I texted her at thirty minutes. nothing. called twice after that. straight to voicemail both times. I was sitting on that couch with her stuff, no idea if she had gotten sick somewhere, left with someone, or was just fine and had completely forgotten about me.

at the four hour mark I texted her boyfriend. I told him I was sorry to reach out but she had been unreachable for hours and I was worried. he had not heard from her either. he came to the party.

she was outside the whole time talking to her ex, phone on silent in her jacket.

when she saw her boyfriend walk in she knew immediately what had happened. she came straight to me furious. said I had no right to contact him, that she was a grown adult who did not owe me check ins, that I had basically sent her boyfriend to find her mid conversation and now he had questions about why she had spent four hours outside with her ex.

she said I should have just waited.

aita?