How did you handle separation anxiety?
TLDR: Anyone out there struggling with separation anxiety, and if so, how do/did you deal with it?
My daughter is 15 months old now and I struggle with handling her separation anxiety with her mom. There are better and worse periods, but even when it's better, we can only hang porperly when it's only the two of us (sometimes letting my wife go somewhere is a challenge on its own). If my wife is there, she's hanging onto her for dear life and rejects me most of the time. I feel rejected, my wife feels trapped. Her newest thing is to start stratching me if she does not want me to pick her up
I know that it's perfectly normal and I also know that it's not really about me or anything. It just sucks. I prepared for a lot of things mentally: the sleeplsess nights, the energy required, the mood swings, you name it. That's the job even if it's hard sometimes. But this one caught me completely off guard: everyone is talking about the need for the father to build the connection even in the non-verbal phase and how you cannot just "wait until you can communicate" to be around. What nobody told is that the child might not want this or at least express her need for this, let alone active rejection. In this atmosphere, it is much harder to stay motivated to put in all the effort parenthood requires because many times I just feel I have to force myself onto her.
I would also be okay with moving a bit more into a background support role witin our family: providing, doing the house chores, taking as much off my wife's shoulder as I can and let them be close until she opens up and this phase ends. The problem with this is that obviously my wife needs her life as well and she cannot be tied to her all the time.
I know that it's "just a phase", but still, I struggle with it. Thanks for reading :)