I (23M) am starting to feel uncomfortable with the relationship my girlfriend (22F) is building with another guy (27M), and every time I bring it up I get told I’m just jealous or insecure.
For context, we’ve been together for over a year. I’m genuinely not the kind of boyfriend who freaks out over male friends. She has guy friends I actually like and get along with. I’ve never tried to control who she talks to or hangs out with. I like to work, go to the gym, not complain.
But this situation feels different to me.
She met this guy because he’s a photographer for a nightclub in our city and she did a merch photo shoot for the club as she is a college ambassador. Afterwards they exchanged Instagram handles. Later he reached out saying he wanted to do another shoot with her because she has a “unique look,” and eventually they exchanged numbers.
Since then they’ve been hanging out semi-often. She goes on hikes with him, and they skip rocks together. What stands out to me is that she has literally never once wanted to go hiking with me despite me being super active and always down for stuff like that.
At this point they text every day. Last night she texted him “nighty night,” and then this morning she told him about a dream she had where he was performing surgery on her. I know the dream itself sounds random, but waking up and immediately texting him about it felt oddly intimate to me.
There have also been a few other moments that just felt off, but whenever I try to explain why this dynamic bothers me, it gets dismissed as me being jealous or insecure. Mind you they have only known each other for 3-ish months.
I feel like I’m going insane because I genuinely don’t think I’m a controlling person. But this relationship feels like there’s a level of emotional intimacy that she doesn’t have with her “normal” guy friends she’s known for much longer.
The last time a situation like this occurred, I told her I believed a guy was into her, she denied it, until it was painfully obvious I was right, and she ended up admitting to it. It’s not like I am untrustworthy of all guys either, I have met many and for the most part, I don’t care if she hangs out with them at all. I trust her, but the whole “blissfully ignorant” thing is hurting me.
What do you all think of this situation? My mind is completely open and I will answer any questions.
EDIT: One thing I did not mention is the guy “started dating someone” early into them knowing each other. She didn’t know her name at first and I asked if his “girlfriend” knew she existed and she didn’t know. I believe her that this is true, not quite sure about its validity due to him telling her this information. I’m sorry for seeming skeptical, I usually don’t care.