Am I asexual?
Hello everyone! I wanted to come on here and ask how you all discovered you were Asexual. Recently I have been feeling like I may be. I don’t HATE sex, nor am I repulsed by it, I just never really feel the urge to have sex. I am in a relationship and a lot of the time I’m having sex with my partner because I feel like it’s my job. For context, he is an amazing person and would NEVER push me into having sex if I didn’t want to. I usually initiate it when it’s been awhile because I feel bad that we don’t do it very often, but even during the act I don’t feel into it at all and am glad when it’s over.
This has happened in previous relationships as well, and I don’t want it to seem as though I’m being assaulted or anything because I’m definitely not, I’m doing this of my own volition because I want to please my partner, and I feel bad when it’s been a week or so. I know my current partner would NEVER want to pressure me and he never has, and if I told him I never wanted to have sex again I fully believe he would be 100% ok with that. I just feel like that isn’t fair to him, so I just do it anyways lol.
I just feel like I’m never really… turned on? I guess? I will occasionally do things to myself and that feels fine, and during sex it feels good, but I just never have the urge to start it if that makes sense.
I do love my partner, and I’m definitely NOT Aromantic (apologies if I’m getting any of these terms wrong, please correct me if so) but I just find I’m never wanting to have sex/craving it. I truly believe I could go years without having sex and be completely fine with it.
I just don’t know, and I don’t really know what to do. I know I need to talk to my partner about this, but I don’t want to do it unless I fully know what I’m talking about.
Thanks in advance :)
**EDIT** my ultimate goal is to talk to my partner about this of course. I wanted to see if anyone had experiences similar to mine and how they handled it. I’m also autistic and situations such as these can be difficult for me to navigate. :)