I want to end my friendship
ok for some context I am F21 and my best friend is F22 (we will call her Marie). im thinking about ending our friendship for a multitude of reasons, but just want honest opinions about if i am being dramatic or not. my best friend is extremely male centered, she cyber stalks my boyfriend and i, she copies me, she seeks attention and male validation, she is a liar, she’s a trump supporter, she disrespects my boundaries and manipulates everyone (not just me), and honestly she is borderline delusional.
1. anytime i have ever gone out with Marie to do anything, she goes out of her way to draw attention towards us. i do not like being the center of attention, so this has always been something that bugs me. for example, if we go to the beach she will make me walk with her past groups of men to try to get their attention, but plays it off like she just wants to walk around. also, Marie is probably the most male centered woman ive ever met in my life besides my own mother. marie has gone out of her way many times to embarrass me in public when she notices im getting more attention or praise than her. im also tired of having to bluntly tell her that the random guys she adds on snapchat ghost her and then come back because they just want one thing. i’ve had to tell her this many times (as well as pointing out love bombing or manipulation), she’s aware, she just cares more about her roster numbers i guess? i mean just last night she posted “time to catfish some mfs” directly after posting her “He is Risen” church posts for Easter Sunday. are we… deadass?
2. she cyber stalks me and copies me. anything i like/repost, she ends up doing the same. i see this because that’s how tiktok and instagram work, i can see when she likes and reposts the same stuff i do. i only notice because when i get notifications, it’s as if she goes onto my accounts and purposely looks at what i like and repost and then does the same in order (so usually it’s multiple notifications at once that say “marie liked a post you reposted” “marie reposted the same repost”). any time im having relationship problems or family problems and i tell her about them, she comes to me 24-48 hours later hysterical and telling me that she “just can’t do this with so and so anymore” or that she hates her family. literally. every. time. then, when i ask her what happened she is either the one instigating issues OR there is no issue at all and she can’t even explain herself. marie also has my location and has randomly “surprised” me by pulling up to my location without telling me she was going to do so. it catches me off guard, and i find it weird any time it’s ever happened. especially because she’s pulled up on me while i was on a date before. when i got mad, she got mad at me for being upset? so then i had to apologize for being rude.
3. Marie has gone behind my back multiple times and added my flings or boyfriends to her social media, and then proceeds to try and hit on them. i don’t get mad because i don’t see her as a threat, and i also live by the motto that if my man can be stolen then he was never mine in the first place. however, i refuse to leave this unacknowledged because it’s weird. i want to say she has done this with the last 3 guys, and my current boyfriend is the one who pointed out that it was weird she asked for his snap. then when i told him she’s done this before, he was even MORE weirded out. he’s right, it is weird. especially because 2/3 of the last guys i liked, she ended up telling me she matched with them on dating apps. when i brought it up to the guys, they told me about how they didn’t swipe on her but she went out of her way to hit them up on other platforms. one of the old guys i talked to even showed me, and showed me that she’s been stalking his accounts. i brushed it off because maybe she was just investigating? i don’t know. thinking on it now, it’s definitely odd behavior.
4. she oversteps my boundaries or straight up disrespects them. im not ugly by any means, however i do not like having my photo taken unless im in the mood. i have expressed this multiple times, and she still doesn’t care. Marie thinks the best time to take photos is when im driving her around, or when im going to be caught off guard. i swear she purposely goes out of her way to take unflattering photos of me, and then she will post them on her private story without my permission. it makes me upset and she doesn’t get it. if i snap at her for taking unprompted photos of me, she will hit me with a “ugh you hate me don’t you” or something along the lines of that. no, i don’t hate you, i dislike having my photo taken especially if im not in the mood or if i look busted. i don’t take bad photos of my friends, in fact i go out of my way to get the angles perfect (i love taking photos and being behind the camera, not on camera). i also do not really like FaceTime calls, or calls in general unless they’re quick or important. marie is aware of this, so she will lie to get me on the phone and then when i ask her what’s up she responds with “idk i just wanted to annoy you”, i just don’t get why overstepping someone’s boundaries is so normal to her. marie also lies to her parents about hanging out with me, and hasn’t even told them that i moved. whenever she goes out now, she tells them she’s with me which is a lie. her parents know that im a good person and that im a hard worker which is why she uses me as cover, im assuming.
5. marie has flirted and tried to get with multiple men in my abusive exes friend group. most of the guys she has mentioned from said friend group have physically and/or sexually harassed me while being in a relationship with my abusive ex boyfriend. i do not feel the need to further elaborate.
6. she’s a trump supporter. this didn’t used to be a deal breaker for me, and this alone probably wouldn’t be the end all be all, but it’s a contributing factor. i’ve tried to ask her about this a few times before, but she doesn’t even know what she’s talking about. her information is either outdated and from trumps first term as president, or it’s just straight up bullshit. there is no further research that is done on her end; im convinced at this point that she’s a trump supporter simply because she wants to fit in and wants men to like her more (she lives in SWFL which is highly conservative). she’s also been giving me misogynistic vibes lately. her stories on instagram consist of politicians saying that women were made by God to stay at home and do housework/take care of kids. ok bro. whatever.
all of this being said, i do love her and i wish her the best. i know this explanation may sound like i can’t stand her but that’s not the case. i think ive bottled up a lot of this, and now that i no longer live in the state ive had time to reflect on these behaviors. i just don’t know if im being dramatic when i say i want to end the friendship. i’ve tried to be blunt and tell her these things before, but it’s almost like she doesn’t even listen. if she did listen, then why do things like this continue to happen? i just want some honest advice. i dont think im the best friend, or the hottest girl, or the smartest, but i cannot continue to be friends with someone who refuses to grow as a person. i also dont think i want to be friends with someone that i feel like i have to parent. im younger than marie, but that has always been our dynamic. it’s frustrating.