u/chidori570

I lost my girl due to a bender and she is convinced I cheated on her because I was trying to secure some blow and the crazy bitch I was buying it from answered my phone while waiting for the blow because I was in my blackout stage. I had my last drink Saturday haven’t talked to my girl or ex idk what to call her at this point since Friday. It’s truly eating me up inside. I despise myself because she has told me countless times she doesn’t like the person I am when I am drinking and guess what I went on a 8 day bender the last time she asked me to not drink but this is the worse one I’ve ever been in since being with her. I told myself I’d quit but deep down I just want to chug some whiskey and let the warmth over come me and see if it takes away some of this self hatred I feel. Deep down I know it won’t but maybe it will give me the confidence to text her

Idk why I can’t remember but I thought there was a quote somewhere along the lines of someone saying no one hates him more than himself

I’m not the biggest drinker usually but this past week I was on a bender all day every day and now I’m in bed starting to feel the effects. Unfortunately I do this 3-4 times a year but this time it is worse. I talked to a professional and they said I should be fine doing it at home but I was wondering if anyone had any advice on store bought medicine that will help me sleep and feel some comfort. I had a few people suggest a taper but I can’t handle that. I know if I do one turn to drinking for 14 hours straight.