u/championofthesun93

My partners favorite candy inspired his birthday cheesecake this year. It was very peanut butter forward though I tried to make it chocolate AND peanut butter. But if you love PB and you were also born in May, this one’s for you too lol

I have so many medical issues that keep piling up the older I get, and I’m not even that old. And since I’m not that old, I constantly get medically gaslit into thinking it’s all in my head or that I’m overreacting or that there’s no way this could be happening to me bc of my age. So I end up just not going to the doctor for anything until I’m like, basically bed ridden. I also used to be overweight but I’m not anymore so now that they don’t have that excuse as to what’s wrong, now it’s just “you have anxiety”.

I do have anxiety, that is true. I have depression pretty bad as well. But I have also had GI issues since I was a child. I remember dealing with it from maybe age 4/5 and I was a very colicky baby as well so it makes me think they’ve really been present since birth. I deal with them to this day but since I never have blood in my stool it’s just “IBS” and they say I don’t need a colonoscopy even though I have diarrhea/gas/ bloating almost every single day no matter what I eat. There’s no way constant inflammation like that is okay for my GI tract. Then there’s the fact that I once walked on a torn plantar fascia for months bc I didn’t think a dr would take it seriously. Ended up in a boot cast for 6 months after that. I got covid in 2021 and it gave me multiple blood clots in my chest along with pneumonia, yet when I told my dr two years ago that I was having weird chest sensations again, she told me it was in my head, so I did nothing. I have pelvic pain that I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of for the better of 3 years now, and all they can offer is expensive ass surgery to see if I have endometriosis, and they offered pelvic floor therapy, which I tried but it ended up making the pain worse so I had to stop. While I was doing PFT, the physical therapist told me I have all the symptoms of hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, but my GP doctor said it was a tik tok disease and that she knew nothing about it. And lately, I’ve been having a very weird and scary pain in my back that feels like electrical shock or burning in ONE specific spot usually when I make certain movements, but sometimes it’ll happen when I’m just sitting or standing as well. I’m also prone to migraines, which started when I was around 13 and they do give me auras and occasionally make my arm go numb. One time about 2 years ago, I had an aura from a migraine that lasted THREE MONTHS. Since it went away eventually, I never went to a neurologist. But I assume this means I have a higher stroke risk as well.

I am going to be 33 next week. I’m pretty broke and even with decent insurance most of these issues need diagnostics that cost thousands of dollars where I live. And since no doctor I’ve been to really believes me anyway, it just doesn’t seem like there’s any point to try. I’m really sick of being like this though. I want to be a normal 33 year old like all my friends. One of them told me I take more medication and have more issues than anyone else she knows. Lovely. I am not a hypochondriac. I am not acting this way for sympathy or anything like it. I want to be healthy and I try to take care of myself the best I can these days to make it easier on my body that’s clearly so fucked up. There is no solution to this. I just needed to vent.

Homemade poptarts for dinner last night bc the real things have too many chemicals but it was the only thing that sounded decent to me at the time, which happens often when I am more depressed than usual.

Edit:: forgot to mention that I also have an autoimmune disorder that affects my skin, as well as dermatitis so really two chronic skin conditions that need constant treatment bc they will never go away, and I also have chronic TMJ that I’m about to start getting treated for bc I can feel my jaw bones scraping on each other every time I open and close my mouth. That treatment is expensive as hell and they don’t take insurance, but I can’t just… not be able to open and close my mouth comfortably. It never ends 🥴

This is my cousin who was like a sister to me. We were raised together until we were about 10 years old but even when she moved away, we stayed close. Over the years she developed an opioid addiction. However a when she passed away in 2023, she had been sober for so long that her death was a real shock to me.

Her mother tried to cover up the real cause of her death by telling the family she succumbed to an infection, but I obtained her autopsy report behind her mother’s back because I knew something was off and I’ve never trusted my aunt. Sure enough. She had deadly levels of fentanyl in her system.

I just would like to know if anyone can pick up anything from her. Did she mean to OD or was it an accident? I think she was just trying to have one last hurrah before she moved in with her older sister (she was texting me the week before her death saying this was her plan and she was very excited about it), and she bought heroin that was laced bc heroin was her true DOC, not fent. I do believe if that’s the case, then she was murdered by the dealer. With her mother trying to cover everything up, there was never any hope of getting her phone records and bringing that person to justice.

If anyone has anything at all, any insight, I would appreciate it so much. Thank you.