Happy anniversary
Today one year ago, my reality shattered. My spouse, who I had made the center of my codependent world, told me that they weren't who I thought they were. In a matter of days, the person I'd built my life around and bore children with became a stranger. I clung hard to my fantasy, trying to convince them they were wrong about their view of themselves. I was convinced I was fighting to save the person I loved, and in a way I was. I was fighting to preserve them as they'd been, completely rejecting the person they wanted to become. I was completely unaware of my codependency and myself in general.
Over the past year, as lot has changed. I'm becoming aware of myself. I can finally hear my inner voice some, not just the inner critic that sounded like my parents or my spouse. I can identify my feelings, protect myself from my shame. I live with my kids and am building a new life. I have goals and dreams, and I'm actually working toward them now. I'm still learning, but it's leagues ahead of where I used to be.
Happy anniversary, me. Here's to another year of growth.
I also want to note, I did apologize to my partner and have been respecting their life changes.