Being a twin mom is so hard…
i fear i’ve lost myself to motherhood. im a SAHM.. i’m with my twins 24/7, but i also don’t trust anyone to watch them for me. it also makes me feel guilty to leave them. i dont think ive ever been away for them for more then some hours.. they’re 1.5 & are the best little boys ever.. truly so perfect and amazing. love them with all of me but i just feel like i’m drowning sometimes. it’s like who am i outside of their needs? i really don’t know & i’m afraid i won’t ever know. i never have the energy to hang out with people & when i do, i’m lowkey miserable & just wanna go home. i don’t even talk on the phone bc i don’t have the energy & just don’t wanna talk. maybe i’m depressed? i don’t like looking in the mirror after giving birth. it’s like i don’t even recognize myself anymore. seeing my boys smile lights up my day.. i just don’t know. it’s a lot & i wish i had an identity or something. there’s no motivation outside of mom/girlfriend duties & even that takes a lot for me to push myself to do.
i don’t like complaining bc i have so muc to be grateful for so i just don’t say anything about it.
idk i guess i just needed to vent.. 😕