How many people have you told about the betrayal and how did you decide when/what to share? How long is long enough to work towards reconciliation?
DDay was July 2024 for me. I found evidence on 2 occasions of my husband's betrayal, then he disclosed everything in a letter to me a few weeks later. We both come from conservative Christian families and he has worked in ministry for a decade (he's quitting this month). I have only told 3 of my closest girlfriends but none of my family. I'm afraid to tell them or any other friends who attend the church due to the stigma, and I'm also afraid that it would cause more betrayal trauma 😭 It's extremely isolating. My family knows he has regular flaws but they still think pretty highly of him and he gets along well with them. It would crush them to find out he cheated on me.
How do you decide to tell someone close to you and how much do you tell them? How long did it take for you to tell your family?
For those who attempted and failed R, how long did you attempt R before deciding to quit? I'm close to two years since DDay and it's been extremely rough the last 2 months as I've started digging deeper in therapy on the impact of the betrayal and deception.