u/belgenoir

Hey, fam.

My Malinois comes in hot on recall. We've used equestrian jump poles, our regulation high jump with all but the last panel removed, a target on the ground, etc. No matter what I do, she travels at least a couple of body lengths unless I run at her to create a bit of spatial pressure. We have been training the exercise for more than a year. She invariably goes a couple of body lengths before she drops.

I'm not wanting to slow her recall, as we'll need it for other sport applications. But I also don't want to spend the next year NQ'ing in Open B . . .

Any help would be appreciated. Good luck to y'all as competition season heats up.

To make a long story short: widowed twice in fifteen years, cancer twice in fifteen years, just lost my job, and my support system consists of a dog, a cat, and a horse.

I met a widower right after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He loves me; I love him. We haven’t known each other but a few months. At the same time, we have done a lot of heavy lifting (navigating interfaith issues, the fact we both have PTSD from military service, him caring for me through my double mastectomy, etc.) I am very sure that the person I’m seeing is the person I’m getting.

The problem is this: his adult children (22 to 30) are all struggling with the idea of their father getting remarried in the [distant] future. He’s been widowed for three years and celibate for a decade. I’m the first person he’s dated seriously since his wife died. Cancer killed our spouses.

Has anyone dealt with anything similar?

It would be nice if this didn’t crash and burn because young adults decided that their parent’s life should remain frozen in amber.

If it does crash and burn, at least I have my animals to keep me company.

A question for the more advanced riders who have had surgeries:

What have you done to cope with having to work your way back up to your pre-surgery level?

Not sure what the equivalent would be for those who jump, but I compete at First (dressage) and am schooling Second with bits of Third.

I’m two weeks out from a single mastectomy. Was doing counter-canter and shoulder in before I left; now it’s just walking with a few minutes of trot.

My trainer made me get off after a 35-minute lesson yesterday. She’s fantastic. But being told to “be patient” is not helping my brain. After 20 years in a variety of demanding careers, patience with myself is elusive.

My therapist is in the hospital, so, hoping a few of you can offer insight. Thanks, fam.