Why does he do that
We used to have a great sex life. Over time, I’ll admit my desire has dropped because of constant criticism, not feeling loved, and just the overall dynamic between us. But I still held onto sex as the one thing we had left.
Now I’m constantly told I don’t initiate anymore, that it’s basically my fault we don’t have sex. But we are always fighting. When exactly am I supposed to feel close enough to initiate?
And honestly, the effort isn’t equal. I literally went down on him this morning, and I can count on one hand the number of times he’s done the same for me this year. It feels one-sided, and it’s hard to want intimacy when I already feel unappreciated.
Part of me feels like he picks fights so he can blame me for the lack of sex, or use it as an excuse for why he doesn’t want it either. And yeah, a small part of me wonders if he’s cheating… but at the same time, I don’t even care enough to dig into it, which probably says everything.
I feel like I’m living in hell and I’m so close to leaving. But what messes with my head is that I still want sex. Why??