u/beaniejams

I know that a lot of aesthetic can come from the storytelling and doesn't need the system to fit it, but my friend is thinking of GMing a game for the first time and she wants to find a system that will provide a nice backbone to the story she wants. Most of the game will be fairly self contained, the story taking place almost entirely within one enchanted forest, so we don't need anything with in depth travel mechanics or anything particularly advanced technologically. Are there any systems out there that are beginner GM friendly that fit the sort of dreamy/dark fantasy vibe she wants for her game? I've looked into a few myself- Dungeon World, Chasing Adventure, Beyond the Wall- but I want to see if maybe there's some hidden gems I'm missing.

i don't intend to self diagnose, i do want to bring this to a psychiatrist eventually, but it's stressing me out to have so many things going on in my head that i can't understand. i've been trying for a while to do research and at least attempt to narrow down what all could be going on with me, hopefully so that i can be prepared for when i do actually go to the psychiatrist.

i'm officially diagnosed with DPD, CPTSD and ADHD, and my friends have been dropping hints that they think i have autism as well. i'm hesitant to try and research any further because i don't want to seem like someone who just wants to have a bunch of diagnoses, but i just don't feel like the above disorders cover the full spectrum of issues that impact me. maybe i'm wrong, but it would at least give me some peace of mind to be sure either way.

i'm just gonna try and run down the list of diagnostic criteria and give my experience so that people who DO actually have it for certain can give me a bit more context.

blurred identity/depersonalization: i don't feel like a person half the time. i don't know whether people who interact with me would say differently, but in my own mind i don't think i have major shifts in personality- rather, i feel like i barely have one at all, and it's subject to change based on the people around me rather than anything i am doing. i also repress my personality pretty hard on purpose, having grown up as an extreme people pleaser, so i don't know how different my answer to this would be if i didn't have such a tight grip on my behavior.

internal/involuntary voices: i experience intrusive thoughts on a regular basis, but i don't know if i experience involuntary thoughts as well. sometimes my intrusive thoughts are pretty mundane, not as violent or sexual as usual, but it's never really felt like there's another person in my head talking to me. when i hold conversations with myself in my head, it doesn't feel like i'm talking to a separate person.

amnesia/time loss: i dissociate OFTEN, but a lot of the time it's really mundane. i work at a gas station, and when i go to close up the store i'll go from standing up to being in my car with no memory of whether i actually did all of my tasks. if i think really hard i can usually recall bits and pieces, but i can never be sure how much of it is real and how much of it is my memories of the past hundred nights blending together in my mind. my memory is awful too- i will completely forget entire chunks of my recent personal history, especially if they take place during a stressful time for me. i can recall facts about my childhood, i know the general timeline, but most of it feels less like my personal experience and more a history that i have memorized.

derealization: i don't really experience this much. time distortion and emotional detachment are common issues i deal with, but i never deal with the visual side- no dreamlike world, no muted colors, none of that.

i feel like i fit a decent amount of the criteria, except for maybe the second most important one behind dissociation itself- i don't think i have alters. or at least, if i do, they're REALLY good at not making themselves known. as much as i struggle with my sense of self and my identity, it doesn't feel like it's fractured or splintered off. honestly, this might actually just be my depression getting significantly worse too, but at least if that's the case i can be comfortable knowing. not knowing what's wrong with me is scary, especially when i can't visit a psychiatrist for a long while due to events going on in my life.