What are the actual signs that i should be willing to listen to and accept my fate of detransing early on?
I am mtft?
I have been on e for almost 10 months with 100 mg spiro, my friends, therapist all I know are mollycoddling me. I know i am lying to myself, but everyday I just wake up and feel like I should keep going idk why, maybe I am too attached to it, maybe it's sunk fallacy, but throught the process i have just felt fake.
Any connection I have with feminity feels pathologized and mostly manifested with arousal, which I kinda see as either fetish going haywire or euphoria boners.
Like when I started seeing my changes I was excited and happy I was finally seeing things change, but in recent times i have been too scared and it has been a confusing place for me to be, it's like I don't wanna quit i just don't want but I am just too paralyzed to move forward, like i see my breasts and i am fine one moment and the other i am just feeling wtf am i doing I am still just some guy why do I have these, I just keep feeling everyone entertaining I am trans are just fooled by my persistence on hrt, but in the end idea of giving up feels like losing something i looked upto for so longs and makes me wanna cry, so I am confused what should I do...
Even If I try to accept and move on i just feel weird about it, everyone who is really trans just had a different experience, but i thought I will know by now, it's like I clearly have gotten idea how it will be but I am just too obsessed and don't wanna quit.
What do you guys think about this, i just want to get advice regarding this.