What do u guys think I should do?
I may or may not delete this, but I'm 21F and my bf is 25M and we've been together for 5 months. We're both Dominican, and there's obviously a different standard being held for me vs. him .I feel like my parents are treating me like a child.
I didn't tell them when we first got together because I knew my mom would project everything my dad put her through (cheating, lying, etc.) onto our relationship which she literally started doing the second I mentioned we were talking, saying things like "he's probably talking to other girls." And is still doing till this day; saying he’s probably leaving his phone at home and going out, which had kind of made me paranoid and has started arguments between me and my bf.So instead of telling her I was going out with him, and because she was giving me a curfew of 8 or 9pm whenever we had dates, I just told her I was hanging out with a friend.
I kept that up for a few months. Eventually, since he pays rent and we were going out constantly, his parents suggested we just hang out at his place to save money. My mom caught on pretty quickly that I was lying about who I was going out with(I never turned my location off), confronted me, and I lied again. We had a long conversation and eventually they met him. They actually like him ,but they have a huge problem with me going to his house, specifically his room, saying it's disrespectful that his family "allows" it.
My dad got really nasty about it. He called them "low lives" with no respect for letting me in his room, called me a slut for going over there, and even said he was going to ask his parents( when they meet because I haven’t introduced them and this is part of the reason why) if I had actually been in his room. That was about 2 months ago.
I've been going over less since then, but his family genuinely likes me and I feel so much more comfortable there. There's a real family dynamic ,they actually talk to each other. His younger brother even has a girlfriend who stays over until like 1am sometimes, while my parents still have me on an 11:30pm curfew at 21 years old.
My bf is understanding about it, but it's frustrating because I literally do nothing except school, work, church, and spend time with him or friends. I'm not out here doing anything crazy.
I don't know if I should try having another conversation with them. The "solution" they'd probably suggest is just having him come to my house, but sometimes there's zero privacy there. Like the other day me and him were watching a baseball game and my mom sat in the living room the entire time with no self-awareness just on her phone not even watching the game with us , and we're not allowed in my room anyway. It just feels awkward and uncomfortable when he's over.
The part that really gets me is that my dad used to let my older brother bring women home all the time — just random girls he was sleeping with — no problem. But I'm in a 5-month relationship with my boyfriend and I'm a slut? I'm his girlfriend, not some random girl.
I just don't know what to do