my mother and i dont get along
im going to try and keep this vague-ish so i dont get identified, but ive had very little good memories with my mother. I've basically raised myself, however my siblings(older) got a better version of her. i resent her for this. she neglected me as a child, and now as an adult, im the one taking care of her and taking her to doctors, cooking for her etc. i do it all, but i am angry about it. she gets so angry with me for the littlest things, but "im not allowed to even say uff at her" because "jannat lies at her feet". i will continue to serve her, however i am afraid now, will i be punished for not loving her the way i see so many people love their mothers? it hurts me to feel this way, i wish i could change it, but i do not love her. maybe the feeling is mutual because i remember she told me she wishes i was born a boy, and she pities my dad because he was hoping i was a boy (my dad has never once showed this btw so this took me by surprise and hurt me as a child)