Disruption Conversations
This needs to be addressed. At least once a week someone posts about disruption. The reasons vary.
"We didn't sign up for kids with medical problems."
"I have an aggressive dog and I'm afraid it will hurt this 3 year old girl."
"I just wanted one kid not two."
"My husband is uncomfortable with a teen girl."
"This child wants different food than we're used to."
"Oops, we changed our minds"
Oh and my personal All Time Favorite!! The lady who wondered if she had to keep the kid until graduation since she was turning 18 a couple months before graduation."
The replies are always along the lines of "oh, of course that is so hard for you, it's fine, do whatever you want." Or some variation on the idea that even if this one doesn't work out maybe the next one will.
I agree that the people who make these posts probably should send these kids on. They aren't the "parents" these kids need. I would like to point out, if you get a pet from the Humane Society then return it you are banned from ever adopting an animal from them again.. If you were to make a post about how you accepted an animal with health problems then decided it was too much...people would tear you apart for trifling with an animal's life.
I am constantly shocked at how many "foster parents" here take a position which downplays the gravity of these situations. Sure, in the moment you might as well ease things along for these people but it leaves the idea that it's fine to just kick these kids down the road when it gets hard. It supports this misconception that committing to the children is optional.
Foster children are not practice runs for the "Real Thing". If you give birth to a child you don't get to wait a few months then say, "oh, this is too difficult" or "oops this one has a medical problem, better send it on to someone else."
Taking in a foster child requires far more planning, thought and consideration than conceiving and giving birth. So, you should be sure. There is no "oops, send it back". You are trifling with a person's life.