u/analisee02

im a first gen baby w my parents both from ecuador. i ALWAYS thought i was fluent in spanish my entire life because i’ve been told that but now that i’m actually in ecuador, im finding out that my spanish speaking is pretty weak. instead of my family (or anyone really) correcting me, they just kinda giggle and share looks. very annoying. anyways, how can i improve my spanish to really ensure my fluency?

im not sure if this post will get taken down but here goes nothing.

on may 3rd 2026, there was an awful car accident in Azuay between 2 cars. finding out that my uncle was the one who died in the car accident absolutely turned my world upside down. my mom was absolutely devastated and i was left to pick up the broken pieces.

my relatives in ecuador dont understand why i would be grieving since I barely knew him. there’s a lot they don’t know.

almost every day I would tell my boyfriend, “I cant wait for you to meet my uncle”, “you HAVE to meet my uncle”, “you’re gonna LOVE my uncle.”

and now, he will never have the chance to meet my uncle. he will never have the opportunity to have a conversation with him or share a laugh. my uncle will never get to meet the man i’m going to marry.

my uncle will never meet us at the airport anymore. he will never drive us to and back from cuenca.

and my mom. my sweet mother. watching her grieve her baby brother has been one of the hardest things i’ve dealt with. wondering “who will she talk to every morning now?” is a heartbreaking thought. my uncle was a part of her morning/night routine. instead, i will now hear her cry in her room and talk to her brother from the clouds.

my heart breaks for my family, my mother, and the bond I was looking forward to growing with him.

mi tio querido, siempre te recordaré. gracias por todo que has hecho para nosotros, para mi familia, y para mi mama. descanse en paz mi angelito 🤍

for some context, im latina and everyone in my family can tan within minutes of being in the sun. i however, cannot. the only time i really got a satisfying (crisp and deep) tan, i was on vacation in NJ 5 years ago. it was the middle of july and i was in the sun all the time. of course, i got burnt to a crisp AND THEN the tan came in beautifully. ive been trying to tan since for years. ive tried many oils, gels, lotions, etc. ive used a few different sunscreens. i tried flipping sides every 15 mins and even laid out in the sun for 2 hours (i fell asleep). sometimes i’ll burn, but other times, i get the faintest tan lines. anyways, if anyone has any product recommendations pls lmk. thanks!

im not sure if anyone here struggles with eating out alone, but i know i have for as long as i can remember. when i watch people eat alone, i feel like crying for them. just the thought of me eating at a restaurant alone brought tears to my eyes. i never understood why anyone would ever do it or how they could ever enjoy being alone.

today i had to go to a different state by myself for a few hours and decided to face that fear. thinking about this had me tensing up and heart racing. as i walked into the restaurant, i considered just getting take out and eating in my car. instead, i acted opposite to my emotions and sat at a booth. i ordered my food, and looked around me. it was at that moment that i realized, people really dont give a shit about me.

a part of my fear of eating alone came from what others might think of me. i thought that someone might think that me eating alone was sad. and in turn, that would make me feel sad. the general concept of eating alone was just sad to me overall.

from the second i sat down, i felt a wave of relief. it was me surrounded by a bunch of people wrapped up in their own little worlds. and so, i wrapped myself up in my own little world. i pulled out a book (gone girl by gillian flynn if anyone wants a good rec) and began eating a really good turkey club. and you know what… i really enjoyed it.

acting opposite to your emotions isnt an easy thing to do at all, but it is absolutely worth practicing.

here’s to day one of not letting bpd take over my life.