u/amerfran

I see a lot of LGBT people say that they struggle with reconciling their sexuality with the Church's teachings. I am openly gay. I am aware of the Church's teachings, but I do not necessarily feel those same struggles; at least not to the extent that others seem to. People will call me a liberal, cafeteria Catholic. If I posted this on the Catholicism sub people would have their pitchforks out, ready to make a human chain blocking me from receiving Communion. Of course, sin can exist within sexuality, but I do not believe that totally suppressing sexuality is healthy for anyone, no matter their situation. Life is rarely black and white. Nuance exists.

I have never once heard a sermon about sexuality. I've only ever heard the culture war rhetoric online. I'm not particularly interested in how my fellow parishioners feel about my situation. As far as I'm concerned, if some holier-than-thou, far-right zealots want to get on their high horse and judge other people, let them. It makes no difference what they think at the end of the day.

Do you feel conflicted by the Church's teachings and/or attitudes that you've encountered within the Church?

I was heavily involved in several music ministries in high school and in college. I LOVED being a part of those ministries. As I came to terms with my own sexuality and accepted it, I started to feel uncomfortable, but stayed put for a while. At one point, my home parish got a new music director. He was extremely talented, but not the most pleasant to work with. A woman in our choir ended up accusing him of sexual harassment. She tried to get me to claim to the diocese that he sexually harassed me too--which he hadn't. At all. That was the first straw. She ended up letting it go and then moving on to attacking him because she found out he was actually openly gay. Then the gossip and chatter started dispersing about how we had a gay music director. That triggered something in me which turned me away from the Church for a while and led to me exploring other denominations. I still sing for Mass very occasionally if a family asks me to sing for a wedding or funeral, but I've recently felt called to return to join a music ministry again.

Fast forward several years from when first left music ministries and I'm the one who is now in an openly gay relationship. Part of me says to just go for it. I'm not particularly interested in how a bunch of church gossipers feel about my situation. But another part of me is reminded of the wholly unwelcoming place the RCC can be at times. Make the wrong person feel uncomfortable and you could easily be ousted from a position such as cantor.

What do you think?