My determinist mechanic ( a play in one act)
Dramatis personae
Chad; a good looking compatibilist who recently became a partner at a prominent architectural firm. He is dropping off his motorcycle to be repaired.
Hedley; owner of the Hard Determinists motorcycle repair shop who has been checking Chads bike for the last 15 minutes.
Scene 1
Chad sits in the waiting room. Hedley returns from the garage.
Hedley: Good news, Chad
Chad: Go ahead
Hedley: I found the problem with your Harley.
Chad: Finally. What was it?
Hedley: the big bang
Chad: What? I want to know why the bike failed.
Hedley:Thats what I'm trying to tell you. It was the big bang.
Chad: I am almost certain it was the fuel injector.
Hedley: That's because you aren't treating this scientifically. The question I asked myself was what is the ultimate cause for your bike failure. A lot of mechanics would look at your bike and tell you the fuel injector failure was the cause of your bike not running. But something caused the fuel injector to stop running and that too was caused. A long chain of causes. Heat cycles, material fatigue, manufacturing variance It turns out that every time I thought I found a cause, it too was caused and therefore had no responsibility in the ultimate sense.
Chad: But I don't want an ultimate cause. I want to get my bike running again. I can't decide who is worse, I tried a libertarian motorcycle repair shop first. They said there was no cause at all. Just the injector acting how it wanted.
Hedley: The big bang is the ultimate source of your problem
Chad: So what? this is all the Big Bang’s fault?
Hedley: I wouldn’t say “fault.” I try to stay away from retributive mechanics. There are no parts to blame. I don't believe in praise or blame. The bike is a system so it has to follow the laws of physics.
Chad: So are you going to replace the injector or not?
Hedley: Replace is such a loaded term. The injector is merely participating in a deterministic unfolding.
Chad: Is the part broken?
Hedley: “Broken” presupposes a normative standard imposed upon matter.
Chad: That seems unhelpful.
Hedley: It’s only unhelpful if you think blaming a part is what you need to fix a motorcycle. No, what I'm going to do is to change the fuel injector.
Chad: That's exactly what I would have done.
Hedley: Yes but you'd have changed it as a kind of punishment. I'm going to change it compassionately.
Chad: Will that still fix it?
Hedley: Yes.
Chad: Then why bring up the Big Bang at all?
Hedley turns to leave and shakes his head. Then turns around and wipes the grease onto a rag.
Hedley: Well Chad once you understand deterministic mechanics you become more compassionate towards the parts you change.
Chad: What do you do with the parts you change?
Hedley: Oh put them in the crusher and send them to the dump. I don't think about them again. They're just parts after all.
Chad: That's more compassionate, I guess. Well go ahead and fix it.
Hedley: I don't think of it as fixing Chad, I like to think I'm rehabilitating the bike. Give me till Tuesday and come pick it up.
Chad: alright see you Tuesday.
Exeunt.