u/adamto186

Got out of a two-month situationship that escalated really fast and I got attached way harder than I expected. Flew to another state to see her, felt a really deep emotional and physical connection, and then things ended badly and pretty coldly. Met her kids met her friends. We talked non stop for weeks.. then nothing. I was already struggling with depression and self-worth issues beforehand, and now I feel completely shattered and back in a really dark place mentally. It breaks your heart.

Recently got out of a two-month situationship that escalated really quickly. I ended up buying a plane ticket to another state to go see her, and honestly… I got attached hard. Things ended badly and I’m just fucking crushed.

It’s been years since I’ve felt this way about somebody. My heart felt dormant for a long time and this girl ripped it wide open again. The problem is I was already struggling badly with depression and mental health issues before I met her, and now that it’s over I feel like I got dropped right back into that dark place, except worse.

Every morning just hurts. Like physically, emotionally, mentally. I wake up and immediately feel the absence of her. I miss her so much it actually aches in my chest sometimes, and I honestly didn’t expect a two-month connection to affect me this deeply.

One thing this situation forced me to realize is how much shame I carry about myself. I’ve always been more emotionally sensitive, more open, more connected to women emotionally than a lot of men I know. I’m not some hyper-masculine emotionally detached guy, even if outwardly I might look masculine enough. And I think part of me feels like that’s why I wasn’t what she ultimately wanted. I hate that I’m like that.

And honestly, that realization has fucked me up pretty badly because I already struggle with self-worth. So now I’m sitting here at 35 years old feeling like I don’t even know who I am anymore or how to feel grounded in myself. I feel like I have no anchor internally. I judge myself constantly for how emotional I am, how hard I took this, how badly my mental health has spiraled, and how hard it feels to get control of my own life and emotions.

The thing that hurts too is how cold the ending felt. It felt deeply meaningful to me, and then suddenly she just kind of detached and acted like it was nothing. Like I’m the only one left here trying to pick up the pieces emotionally while she moved on fine. Maybe that’s not fully true, but that’s what it feels like.

I know people say “take it one day at a time” and all the usual breakup advice, but honestly I just feel hopeless right now. I think about suicide a lot. I feel exhausted from fighting my own brain all the time. Part of me wants to rebuild my life completely and become someone I actually respect, and another part of me feels so overwhelmed and ashamed that I just want to give up. I’ve been tired for years and years.

I guess I’m posting this because I want to know if anyone else has experienced heartbreak hitting this hard when it also collides with depression, identity issues, attachment wounds, self-worth problems, all of it at once. Because right now it just feels unbearable.

TL;DR: Got out of a two-month situationship that escalated really fast and I got attached way harder than I expected. Flew to another state to see her, felt a really deep emotional and physical connection, and then things ended badly and pretty coldly. I was already struggling with depression and self-worth issues beforehand, and now I feel completely shattered and back in a really dark place mentally.

I’ve realized how much shame I carry about myself, especially around feeling emotionally sensitive and not “masculine enough,” and this breakup basically ripped all of those insecurities wide open. I feel lost, emotionally overwhelmed, and honestly hopeless a lot of the time. Just trying to understand why this hit me so hard and if anyone else has gone through heartbreak that collided with already-existing mental health and identity struggles.