Which would you pick and why? What size would you go for?
Assume you already have a 27-inch 500Hz 1440p OLED monitor for competitive/games that require high refresh rate.
I'm a bit nervous to post this honestly, as I'm not sure if it's something many people will relate to, but I just wanna get this off my chest so we'll see how it goes.
I'm a 32F monogamous lesbian, but it took me a while to realize that. My timeline of self-discovery has been very non-linear, which makes telling the story a bit challenging, but the story of my relationship with non-monogamy can be broken up into 2 parts:
Part 1: General Poly/ENM Trauma
My first encounter with the concept of "ethical" non-monogamy was when I was 18 and I dated a bi guy who wanted a sexually open relationship. I said yes to this arrangement but the relationship fell apart pretty quickly. I'm the one who ended it. The whole story is long and messy but I was just looking for a way out. I did go through some traumatic experiences due to this relationship but they weren't directly related to the non-monogamy aspect per se... I just met some unsavory people in the local kink scene.
After that relationship ended, I continued to experiment with non-monogamy off and on, but I did have some monogamous relationships as well.
I had 2 shitty experiences with men in polyamorous or open marriages that were similar, and made me start questioning. Both led me on, then said I would never be as important as their wife, and then ultimately only wanted sex. One of them ghosted me. I began to think marriage was a red flag in non-monogamy because it creates an inherent hierarchy, but it didn't make me write off non-monogamy entirely. At least, not at first.
Ironically, the guy who didn't ghost me? His wife had a boyfriend, and she ultimately left him (her husband, who told me he couldn't bring himself to date anyone else) for the boyfriend. So in this case the married partner didn’t put her spouse first... But the arrangement failed anyway.
After all that, I gave non-monogamy one last try, although I didn’t realize it would be the last when I agreed to it initially. After realizing I was a lesbian, I met a strictly polyamorous woman who developed a crush on me, and proceeded to enter the worst relationship of my life. Our rules were fairly simple: mostly, just be fully transparent with each other about who we were seeing, where & when. No overt PDA with other partners in front of each other until/unless discussed. Allowed to veto another partner ONLY if they are toxic/abusive. That kind of thing.
Well she managed to “cheat” on me by breaking these simple rules. But it’s probably worse than you think. See, she had developed bipolar disorder a couple of years into the relationship. The kind that comes with psychotic delusions. I had to become her caretaker because she refused to take her meds and was out of control. It was around this time that she decided to pursue another relationship, with another woman who also had a partner she was living with. She wasn’t fully honest about her from the start, made out with her in our house while I was home which made me super uncomfortable, and the worst part? When she was in the hospital due to a manic episode, she asked me when her new partner was coming to see her, and told me that I was basically a useless piece of shit and a terrible partner, and told me her new partner was better than me in every way etc etc, ripping my heart into a million pieces. I was the one at the hospital by her side. Not the new partner. And when I reached out to the new partner to pass on her questions about when she was coming to see her or if she wanted to even call, she told us to fuck off and blocked us both. When I told my gf, she called me a liar.
Obviously, at that time, I was too concerned about my gf being in the hospital, my responsibilities as her new caretaker and everything else to fully process what she had just done to me, but I did cry my eyes out. Eventually, as you can imagine, this single most traumatic experience with non-monogamy did kill my belief in it altogether. She had all the freedom in the world. It was almost hard to cheat with such flexible rules. Yet she did it anyway. Non-monogamy has, for me, never solved a single problem. Just given me some new or different ones, and made relationships more messy.
Part 2: Sexuality Confusion
I left this part separate from the rest of the story because I wanted to emphasize how non-monogamy hurt me separately from the sexuality aspect and give a broader overview of my history with it as a whole. But, even though the pain of my ex-girlfriend’s betrayal was very tough to deal with, it's almost equally painful how polyamory prolonged my confusion about my sexuality, as well.
Unlike probably a majority of late bloomer lesbians, I knew I liked girls already from an early age. I started identifying as bi when I was 13 or so. But I did struggle with a lot of self-doubt. I kept identifying as bi publicly, but internally I'd question if I could be straight or lesbian. By the time I was 18, I was honestly starting to lean towards thinking I might be a lesbian after all, because I had started to realize that I could be happy never being with another man ever again, but I couldn’t give up women. But then I got introduced to non-monogamy, and that kind of changed the whole criteria for understanding my sexual orientation, if that makes sense. Because there’s no need to pick, and most importantly, if you’re not satisfied with your partners, that’s NORMAL, and not necessarily a reason to break up. Just add more partners to the pile. Thus my ongoing dissatisfaction with men could be a sign I need to go back to poly, or that I just need more partners. If that makes sense.
While I did in fact realize I was a lesbian before I fully gave up on non-monogamy, in retrospect, I think it prolonged that important self-discovery.
Anyway I know I left out tons of stuff but this post is already long af so I’ll leave it there. Can anyone relate to my story? Weird and convoluted as it is, lol. Feel free to ask questions if you have any. :)
I walk probably 10-15 miles per week minimum and bike (on an ebike) at least 24 miles per week but often more.
Some points to consider:
* I got a pretty cheap pair of Asics about a year ago and they developed holes in the top and side pretty quickly. I’d like my next pair to be a little more resistant to holes.
* I feel like the design of the bottoms of the shoes, if they're too chunky, can be a bit awkward on bike pedals if that makes sense?
So is there a good Asics shoe out there for me? Or should I maybe look at a different brand altogether?
I'm a woman and my size is 10 wide in women's if that matters.