Was/am I in love with my ex-bestfriend?
So, me and my best-friend (who will be referred to as A) stopped talking earlier this year. To summarize, she is conflict-avoidant and wouldn’t speak up about the group bullying me. This hurt me deeply, especially since I have stuck out my neck for her and lost friends over it (at least in the moment). Anyway, we had a talk, and A and I decided to stop hanging out. This was one of the hardest things I have ever done and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her. I mean, I still look through our texts every day. While we were friends, A used to make comments about us being together, and we used to say we “loved each other purely platonically” a lot. I thought this was a joke, and I was straight, but the more I reflect, the more I question. I always thought (and still do) that she is the prettiest girl on the planet and I loved to imagine us in stories and art. Lately, I have been making picrews with us and thinking about my sexuality. I don’t know if I like boys. So, (in your guys' viewpoints) am I gay and in love with A? Thanks!:)