u/ZiddyKong

hello :)

as the title suggests, i'm in a massive creative block right now. tbh it's been nearly 7 years long. for context, i'm a video editor who's been in industry for 5 years and editing for fun for 10+ years. i'm based in the uk so forgive me if you aren't familiar with the uk education system, but i did media/editing from year 10 to year 13 and for a foundation uni degree, and during the foundation year i managed to get a job as an editor. that was 5 years ago and i have had a few different jobs both contract and freelance, and have really expanded my skills, but i don't feel creative at all.

covid happened when i was in sixth form, and on top of that i was already really struggling with my mental health, so my creativity and mental health dwindled away. i barely got through just the foundation year, but since getting the job as an editor i perked up a bit and had some trajectory for the near future.

it's been 5 years now and i am very grateful and proud of where i've gotten to, but i feel so absolutely useless and stuck. i recently started a new job and have just been feeling like i can't even edit. it isn't that the work is hard, but i have 0 motivation or ideas. i've been working in social/corporate these past 5 years and have learnt a lot, but looking back at it all now i realise i haven't explored any personal creative endeavours or indulged in my own work.

it makes me feel like an imposter, like i don't truly enjoy film and editing. my colleagues would have personal work, they'd do some shooting outside of work, edit their tik tok videos, or write scripts for films, whilst i'd just come home and recover. i know people aren't taught how to be creative, but i feel like everyone knows a trick i don't and i feel really stuck. i have a lot more free time now with my new job and want to dedicate it to learning new things and trying some personal projects, but i don't even know where to begin! not to make myself devoid of any blame, but i do think having the mixture of covid during my formative school years + chronic bad mental health + not going to uni and immediately going into corporate video editing (which again i wouldn't change, i am happy this happened i would've hated uni), has made me forget how to create authentically and in a low pressure environment.

i feel very rigid in my processes and unable to give room for error. i'm such a perfectionist i can't fathom trying something and it not being perfect. i want to get out of this mentality and i want to make things, but i can't help but feel like i am just not creative, like i don't want it enough or else i would've been making things all this time. it's super mega imposter syndrome i guess. also i see other great work online and i think 'wow that's so good, maybe i can make something similar', but i feel like anything i make will just be a recreation of something else. i know all art essentially is, but i don't feel like i have unlocked that part of my mind to just think alone without reference or inspiration. is that normal?

but yeah this is a long rant to hopefully open a discussion with other editors who have struggled with things like this and i'd love to hear how others induce creativity and allowed themselves to get back into making things. much love <3

hello :)

as the title suggests, i'm in a massive creative block right now. tbh it's been nearly 7 years long. for context, i'm a video editor who's been in industry for 5 years and editing for fun for 10+ years. i'm based in the uk so forgive me if you aren't familiar with the uk education system, but i did media/editing from year 10 to year 13 and for a foundation uni degree, and during the foundation year i managed to get a job as an editor. that was 5 years ago and i have had a few different jobs both contract and freelance, and have really expanded my skills, but i don't feel creative at all.

covid happened when i was in sixth form, and on top of that i was already really struggling with my mental health, so my creativity and mental health dwindled away. i barely got through just the foundation year, but since getting the job as an editor i perked up a bit and had some trajectory for the near future.

it's been 5 years now and i am very grateful and proud of where i've gotten to, but i feel so absolutely useless and stuck. i recently started a new job and have just been feeling like i can't even edit. it isn't that the work is hard, but i have 0 motivation or ideas. i've been working in social/corporate these past 5 years and have learnt a lot, but looking back at it all now i realise i haven't explored any personal creative endeavours or indulged in my own work.

it makes me feel like an imposter, like i don't truly enjoy film and editing. my colleagues would have personal work, they'd do some shooting outside of work, edit their tik tok videos, or write scripts for films, whilst i'd just come home and recover. i know people aren't taught how to be creative, but i feel like everyone knows a trick i don't and i feel really stuck. i have a lot more free time now with my new job and want to dedicate it to learning new things and trying some personal projects, but i don't even know where to begin! not to make myself devoid of any blame, but i do think having the mixture of covid during my formative school years + chronic bad mental health + not going to uni and immediately going into corporate video editing (which again i wouldn't change, i am happy this happened i would've hated uni), has made me forget how to create authentically and in a low pressure environment.

i feel very rigid in my processes and unable to give room for error. i'm such a perfectionist i can't fathom trying something and it not being perfect. i want to get out of this mentality and i want to make things, but i can't help but feel like i am just not creative, like i don't want it enough or else i would've been making things all this time. it's super mega imposter syndrome i guess. also i see other great work online and i think 'wow that's so good, maybe i can make something similar', but i feel like anything i make will just be a recreation of something else. i know all art essentially is, but i don't feel like i have unlocked that part of my mind to just think alone without reference or inspiration. is that normal?

but yeah this is a long rant to hopefully open a discussion with other editors who have struggled with things like this and i'd love to hear how others induce creativity and allowed themselves to get back into making things. much love <3

hello.

i started a new job just over a month ago and i haven't been enjoying it at all. i didn't love my previous job, but i had a really good and close team who i could confide in and am genuinely friends with. this new job is in a much bigger, corporate company. i was recommended by a friend and felt so happy to get the job; the benefits are decent, i have a pay rise, and i have good clients, but i have not been able to adjust at all.

my first week wasn't the best, but i couldn't expect it to be amazing with such a big change. but since then i haven't really been feeling optimistic. i am starting to understand that things i thought i just didn't understand about the job/workplace aren't really understood by anyone, which does make me feel better. it feels less organised and i feel like i have more responsibilities because of this. perhaps that's supposed to be a good lesson and growth for myself, but i feel like it's out of poor workflows and organisation, rather than being purposeful and beneficial for me. it's ofc jarring going from a close team to new people and i can't expect to become best friends with them, but i am struggling to feel comfortable and at place in the job, but i think i was just very lucky at my previous job with the team. i also can't shake the feeling that this is just the industry standard and i am childish and weak for not being able to deal with it.

i feel quite depressed before and after work, and weekends ending makes me feel so anxious. i feel stupid because i feel like maybe the changes and discomfort are things i just need to get used to and i'm weak for not being able to deal with this change, but i also don't know what is an acceptable amount of discomfort.

i also believe i am autistic, which i did have struggles with in my previous work place, but i am finding this shift to really stretch me thin and test my limits with communication and masking.

this is a bit nonsensical and more of a rant as i have had a bad day, but i wanted to know how people go about disliking their job/how long they waited before they knew it wasn't a good fit. i've seen plenty of people say you aren't supposed to love your job and to deal with it if you have good benefits and pay. with this being a big company it would look good on my cv, but i also don't want to put my mental health at the expense of just having a company on my cv.