u/Zestyclose_Resort375

Today is day 1 of my period and I’m having cramps. I wasn’t sure about sex at all but while we were cuddling I decided why not it might just help. He knew I was on my period. We’ve had period sex before. I thought nothing of clarifying by asking, “Do you want to have sex because I’ll go take out my tampon.” He went from grinding against my butt to pulling back and said something along the lines of maybe later, the tampon thing got into his head and “it would be different if I had said I had to go remove my pad.”

I don’t get how the hell that would be different but instantly I felt like shit like somehow I was gross for using tampons. We’ve been dating for a year. This man has had ED issues I’ve been supportive of. I looked at the fucking huge pimple on his ass last night because he was worried it was an infected spider bite. He sharted and I said nothing unkind and threw in a load of laundry. Never once have I shamed him about normal bodily functions.

He got up and left the bed a few moments later because clearly I was upset. I went to the kitchen after I knew I wouldn’t cry (hormonal emotions are a bitch) and he asked for a hug and a kiss. I said “No, you made me feel disgusting” and asked about going to the store. He said he didn’t mean to make me feel bad and didn’t want to go anymore so I went without him, came back and grabbed my stuff (he was on the phone with a family friend and never got off the call while I gathered my things) and left his place for mine.

I’m 35 and should absolutely know how to handle this but I’m emotional and cramping. My period has never grossed him out before so I don’t know how to handle this one. But I’ve also been discreet about which now feels unfair like I’m expected to hide something totally normal. Am I just being an overly hormonal girl?

To me a relationship is a partnership and now I feel like I’m unable to show him any of the gross parts of being a human because he can’t handle a fucking tampon. But also, if it ruins the mood it ruins the mood, I guess and I don’t get to decide what turns him off. I sort of wish he had phrased it nicer and hadn’t said it would be different if I wore pads like there’s something wrong with tampons.

So … please tell me who is overreacting to the damn tampon.

Update: To those of you saying he didn’t say anything to seem like he was disgusted, it was partially his behavior. He pulled away and said the pad comment while sitting on the side of the bed and then left me alone in the bedroom. It would have been different if he hadn’t just up and left me alone feeling rejected and gross.

I asked what the deal with pads are and he claims it was just a bad joke and tampons don’t usually gross him out. Sadly, I don’t think this will work out as he sees nothing wrong with how he handled this and has done nothing but text an apology to try and emotionally support me. Oh well. Lesson learned.