u/ZeldaXLink99

I was raised Christian and want to believe god is real and there’s a major part of me that does but it’s like these thoughts uncontrollably in my head like this is not real to the point I would feel like it would be offensive to God to partake in things because I have those thoughts. Recently I had a friend do a tarot reading for me I was not educated on tarot at all and didn’t know it was I guess not okay to do if you believe in God? My predicament is if God is real then I feel whatever is interacting with tarot is real to?
I had a good experience with tarot and my headspace was originally thinking it was more of just a guided game but if I believe in god then I morally also should believe that tarot isn’t just a harmless guided game? If I partake in tarot more is that bad?

I guess my moral dilemma is if I didn’t believe in any religion at all or any spirits or whatever then I would feel more comfortable like it’s just cards but the fact part of me does believe in God I feel then how can I say it’s just cards? Does that make sense, like I feel it’s not morally accurate for me to believe in God and then do tarot cards and say it’s just cardboard and means nothing? Cause wouldn’t that also then could be argued like praying means nothing and everything in Christianity isn’t real? Idk I really want to get tarot but this is holding me back bc I still part of me believes in God

I had my first ever tarot reading and I did it 2 times for 2 different things, and the reader was saying how they are shocked it was so gentle with me both times when it’s normally blunt/hash to them and others. What does this mean?