u/YesterdayOk1197

I have this reoccurring thing happening to me during sp episodes. I keep feeling something on me, not anything heavy, but a weight I find comfortable for some reason. Sometimes it turns into what feels like a massage. Sometimes I see a shadow, sometimes I don't. Is this normal, I thought sleep paralysis episodes were supposed to be terrifying. I don't know how to explain how I feel about it. it's kinda reassuring I guess? Sounds more like a sleep paralysis angel I guess.

I have hit the 24 hour mark without fapping. I have felt the urge to fap multiple times today, but I reminded myself to abstain from doing so and have successfully avoided getting any erections. Also, I have been porn free for the past 24 hours as well. It's not as harsh as I thought it would be although this is only the beginning. The worst challenge I faced was taking a hot shower because that's where I (used to as of yesterday) fap the most and the conditions and everything puts me into a really horny state. I managed to get through everything though.

I haven't noticed any changes yet as I expected other than I chose to stay outside for most of the day where I can be deterred from doing exactly what I don't want to do.

I have been a fapper for as long as I can remember. I'm a really horny guy who gets attracted to anything even slightly feminine. I had a big porn collection I've built up for many years, and today I finally acted on behalf of my soul. I deleted my entire collection, years of pics and videos. It feels like a giant weight taken off my back. It doesn't completely change me, but it puts a huge dent in my addiction.

Starting today I am going to try NoFap. I feel the urge to masturbate as I shower or lay in bed, but tonight I am going to resist the urge. I've gone 20 hours so far, I am going to make it to 24 and hopefully beyond that. One day I hope to be confident in public, and be able to walk around without thinking about going to a restroom and you know what.